#his version of 'look at me I'm so grown up and mature so you have to take me seriously' was weaponised bisexuality

[wellfine]

Thinking...

AU where zeff didn’t start a restaurant after being rescued he just kept being a pirate on the Grand Line so sanji joined his crew as the infamous “black leg” and permitted himself to grow up flagrantly bisexual

[gold-onthe-inside]

hamelin

who? spencer reid (s6/7) x mayor!reader summary: spencer's the first person you think to call when the kidnapper attacks your home. content warnings: animal gore, kissing (no smut) word count: 3.5k (a lot of stuff goes down, okay) a/n: part two to diplomat, ending is open ended (i couldn't decide what happens next and this fic is long enough already)

It’s late when you get back home from city hall, briefings from that day and agendas for tomorrow tucked under your arm and fumbling for your keys and finally unlocking your front door. You moved to switch the light on, dumping your folder and keys on the top of a cabinet and closed the door. There’s a relief that comes with closing the door, the version of you that is so carefully made up for the public eye shedding away.

You took off your heels, turning around to set them on the centre table in the lobby of the mayoral residence, when you let out a strangled scream — dozens of slain rats pooled in front of the staircase, your heart beating frenetically. Your heels clattered to the floor, shaky hands moving to call the first person that came to mind as you retreat back to your car, leaving your door open. Pick up, pick up, pick up—”

“Hello?”

“Someone’s broken in, there’s-there’s rats and blood everywhere,” you gush instantly, switching the cell phone between hands and tearing your car door open and slamming it behind you before locking yourself in.

"Can you stay where you are? I'm coming now- stay there-" he said, as he stood up abruptly, grabbing his coat and his satchel. "Prentiss-" He called out. "Can you come with me? I have to check on someone."

Meanwhile, you fumble quickly through your glove compartment, finding the handgun you carried, slotting the magazine in place and cocking it before sliding back in your seat, starting to wonder if you should’ve just called the chief of police instead. As the minutes tick by, you curse yourself for what you’ve done. You can imagine the questions that’ll get asked when this is over — why was he the first person you called? Why wasn’t the chief of police involved? More importantly, if you couldn’t keep yourself safe, how were you supposed to keep your city safe?

The tap on your window scares you, raising your gun into Spencer’s face at the shotgun window, and you let out a soft breath of relief, switching the safety on and releasing the magazine before putting it all back in your glove compartment. Agent Morgan stepped out of your house, along with Agent Hotchner, and as you get out of your car, Agent Prentiss holds the door open for you, closing it behind you.

“Are you okay?” she asked and you nodded, trying to maintain some semblance of professionalism.

“I’ll be better once we find out who did this.” You looked back at your house, trying to ignore the sympathetic look Emily was giving you. You feel numb as Aaron explains the process to you, and you might as well be a child for all the power you wield — that forensics will need to take over the scene before they can do any actual profiling, that they need to do a cognitive interview.

“I'll need to speak with my office,” you manage to get out in as mature a voice as you can, considering. It's not like you haven't gotten death and assault threats before, what female politician didn't? But something about this felt different, it felt real.

Emily's grown up in your world, in the world of appearances and stiff backs and false smiles, so she convinces Aaron to take you back to city hall, let you get a handle on things before doing an interview.

Spencer watched you the entire time from the rear mirror of the car, the way you slipped into business mode on the drive to City Hall. It was all so foreign to him, the way you soldiered through this. He remembered a time when seeing a dead pigeon had made you tremble and he’d had to hold you in your arms and tell you everything was alright. It was a far cry from what he was seeing now, and for a moment, he even felt a slight disconnect.

He felt completely out of place from your life, watching you approve clothes for a press conference, your secretary directing hair and make-up to your office, listening to a speechwriter read out your statement for you and making amendments without a single tell that any of this was getting to you. At least, not until Mandy arrived.

“So, we’ll do the first one outside City Hall,” she began immediately, right behind you as you waved away the make-up artist, standing up to pay attention to your campaign manager. “Once the residence is cleared by the police, we’ll do a second one there. We also have a response prepared for a potential recall—”

“Recall?” you demanded, turning to look at Mandy. “We’re in the middle of the campaign.”

“They’re saying that public trust is gonna drop 13% by the end of tomorrow’s news cycle,” Mandy said, widening her arms helplessly. “Perry’s changed his entire campaign to be tougher on crime,” she said, looking at her clipboard, oblivious to the anxiety that was starting to overwhelm you as your hands fidget at your side — anxiety that Spencer was all too familiar with.

“Mandy, I think- I think she needs a minute-“ he spoke up, moving a little closer to you, but keeping his words gentle, not touching you. “I don’t think we need to overload her with all of this right now-“ his gaze flickered to yours, giving you an encouraging nod.

“We’ll deal with a potential recall after tonight’s conference,” you said, finding your centre of gravity in Spencer’s eyes. “I have a statement to revise.” Your speechwriter left the sheet on your desk with a sheepish smile before walking out, your stylists packing up to leave, and Mandy half-glaring at Spencer for obstructing her job twice now before leaving. The door clicked shut and you let out a breath of relief, sagging against your desk to pick up your cue cards while Spencer stepped forward, plucking them out of your hands. “Spence,” you protested but it melted under his look.

“You haven’t taken a minute to process what happened,” Spencer said, his voice gentle but insistent.

“I don’t have the time—”

“Then make the time,” Spencer said firmly, interrupting you swiftly and you pursed your lips at him. That hadn’t changed. “Your home was broken into and your floor was covered in dead rats, and you’re gonna go on like nothing happened?”

“This isn’t about me,” you replied patiently. “This is about the city needing to feel safe—”

“The city isn’t safe, and you telling them otherwise is… It’s patronising and it’s belittling their intelligence,” Spencer retorted and it was unfair because he was right.

“I can’t believe I’m taking political advice from a STEM major,” you muttered, moving to sit behind your desk and pull out a fresh sheet of paper.

“I can’t believe I’m giving it,” he pointed out, and he stepped around to the front of your desk, placing a hand atop yours, and sitting himself directly in front of you, forcing eye contact. “What do you need?” He looked at you, and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

"Twenty minutes to write a new speech and a lot of coffee," you said.

“I’ve got you,” he said, and disappeared around the corner, reappearing a minute later with a pot of coffee and two mugs, and he poured one for you and one for him, setting it on the desk, just like old times. It was hard to concentrate with the smell of the coffee and Spencer’s cologne right in front of you, and you took a quick sip before setting the cup down and writing your speech.

You soldiered through your speech, putting on your best face, and Spencer pulled you away from Mandy who was trying to get you to take this threat of a recall seriously, setting you up in a secure hotel room instead. “You really don’t have to do this,” you said, sitting cross-legged by the foot of the bed as Spencer checked the windows were locked.

“We need to make sure you’re safe. If you go back home, there’s a stronger likelihood that he’ll come after you this time,” Spencer said, closing the curtains over the windows. “He’ll think you aren’t taking him seriously.”

“I don’t understand how he could just break in,” you said, rubbing your face tiredly, and Spencer pulled up a chair in front of you to sit down, face to face when you look up.

“Morgan and Rossi are looking into it, we’ll get you answers,” he assured you, pressing his hand to your knee and you sighed.

“What are the chances that this is connected to the missing kids?” you asked and Spencer frowned, retracting his hand.

“The working hypothesis was that a disgruntled parent might have done it, but leaving that many rats behind—” Just the mention of the creatures seemed to cause you pain, a wince crossing your expression at the memory of it. “—doesn’t seem plausible for just any parent to pull off. Was there anyone specifically angry at you?”

You chewed your bottom lip, shaking your head. “Not enough to do this. I was expecting getting tomatoes thrown at me or something.”

Spencer frowned. “Tomatoes is oddly specific,” he noted and you shrugged.

“I had these parents corner me after a council meeting, asking me why I was more focused on county fairs than looking for their kids,” you said, looking down at your hands and picking at your thumbnail. “I write policies and draft budgets. I can’t find a mass abductor, and people expect me to put more pressure on the police force as if they’re not doing everything they can. We can’t just close off an entire district forever. And the protocol says that after the first 24 hours…”

“For a regular child abduction,” Spencer told you. “This is different. He hijacked a school bus and abducted over 30 kids. It’s unprecedented, there’s no protocol for this.”

You swallowed before you looked at him, your expression cloudy and downcast. “I’m gonna lose my job,” you whispered, tears rimming your eyes and Spencer’s hands cupped your cheeks, thumbing the tears away like they had ten years ago.

“Hey, no, you’re not,” he insisted softly. “Noone’s done more for this city than you have.”

“Like that matters,” you muttered, wanting to cry some more but his hands were so warm and comforting that you just closed your eyes. “All Perry has to do is promise to deliver. I’m the one who has to actually do the work, and no matter what I do, I get criticized for it.”

“Well, then, they’re idiots,” Spencer said matter-of-factly. “You don’t wanna be a mayor of a town of idiots, do you?” he asked and you snorted gently, laughing as he shifted to sit next to you, and he felt you curl into him, so he rubs your arm, following his instincts.

“Thank you for being here,” you murmured into his chest, his woollen sweater vest warm against your cheek, your fingers playing with the hem of it.

“There’s nothing to thank me for,” he replied, pressing a kiss to your hair, his hand on your arm stilling. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“Sap,” you muttered, making him smile a little, one you can feel as he presses his lips to your hair. “You could’ve called,” you murmured, still playing with his sweater.

“I didn’t think I was allowed to,” he replied quietly. “You were so mad that night.”

“Ten years ago,” you reminded him, pulling away to look at him. “You thought I was gonna be mad at you forever?”

Spencer looked at his hands, long spindly fingers meant to lace through yours. “I didn’t have any evidence to believe otherwise.” He looked at you with those glassy hazel eyes that made you melt. “I screwed up,” he murmured. “But I was so afraid you’d look at me like everyone else.”

“Spence,” you whispered, shifting closer, knee pressing against his thigh. “There is more to a person’s character than their reputation, or their qualifications.” You cupped his face the way you used to, his cheek slightly rougher than before, and the briefest thought flickered across your mind — does he still kiss like he used to? You swatted it away, focusing on the conversation at hand. “There is so much more to you than your PhD.”

“PhDs,” he corrected quietly, and you snorted quietly.

“You got more of them?”

“Math, engineering, chemistry.”

“Does that make you Dr. Dr. Dr. Reid?” you asked and Spencer shook his head, your hand dropping to his lap.

“That’s not how it works.”

“Well, how else will people know you’re a multi-PhD holder?” you asked, teasing.

“Shut up,” he muttered, kissing you, his hands sweeping up to cup your face, holding your jaw like it belonged to him. You were wrong. He doesn’t kiss like he used to. Not tentative or hesitant, but confident and breath-stealing, each move precise and purposeful as he took pauses in just the right places to make you needier, smiling as you chased his lips greedily. His fingers threaded into your hair, like he still remembered how to drive you insane, still holding your face close to his as he pulled away for breath, feeling yours fan over his lips. “I wanted to do that all day,” he whispered, nudging his nose against yours.

“I…” You had no words, opening your eyes to look at him, your head all cloudy and dazed and Spencer wanted to laugh, hands dropping to his lap. You, who had an argument for everything, the debate captain who always won, who had a retort armed at all times, had been struck speechless.

“Need a minute?” he asked, smirking and you wanted to hit him. You definitely wanted to kiss him. His smirk dropped as he saw concern flit across your face. “What is it?” he asked, starting to panic just a little. “Did I… No, I should’ve asked first—”

You shook your head. “No, well, I mean, yes, you could’ve asked first but that’s not…” You dropped your gaze, stopping yourself from taking his hand. “You’re leaving,” you said quietly and he frowned. “Once you find this guy… I won’t see you again,” you said matter-of-factly, blinking away the sting in your eyes.

“I… I can visit,” he offered lamely and you looked up, tilting your head at him.

“You won’t,” you said quietly. “And you shouldn’t. This part of your life ended ten years ago.”

“I don’t want it to,” he whispered.

“If your team hadn’t been called in to find these kids,” you asked softly, “would you have ever thought about me again?”

“Don’t say that,” Spencer insisted, taking your hand in his. I still love you, he thought. “We’re gonna find these kids, and this guy who’s harassing you, and… And we can figure this out too.”

Wishful thinking, you thought, but his hand felt so warm in yours, his heart on his sleeve, bleeding in front of you. You can’t dash his hopes, even though a part of you thinks he’ll be better off that way. “Okay,” you said instead, and his phone buzzed, forcing him to pull it out of his pocket and step away to answer Morgan. You can hear bits and pieces from Spencer’s side.

“Yeah, she’s with me… I already asked her, she doesn’t know… I can ask, yeah. If it is him, I’d rather stay here, make sure she’s safe… If there’s the slimmest chance that he comes here instead, I’m not taking the risk, Morgan.”

You rubbed your wrist, waiting for him to return. “Do you know a Perry Williams?” he asked, showing you a picture of the man, his voice on FBI mode and it creeped you out.

“Should I?” you asked, frowning.

“He used to be a pest controller, did work all over town, and he was at the school when it burned down four years ago,” Spencer said, slipping his hands in his pockets. “Right around where your first term started.”

You shook your head, frowning, not remembering the name or the face. “No, I don’t. But one of my first acts as mayor was to award the firefighters at the school,” you said. “I… I can’t remember their names either.”

Spencer said nothing, calling someone else instead, leaving you to twiddle your thumbs. “Garcia, can you look into firefighters associated with the school fire?” he asked and you were starting to feel restless, watching him work instead. “Huh,” he said, his expression puzzled. You watched him put the phone away again and turn to you. “Apparently, the firefighter you awarded implied to the press that the reason the fire got so bad was because of Williams, saying that the pesticide chemicals made the fire worse. When Williams recovered from his burns, that firefighter became his first victim.”

“What?” you asked. “Wh-How?”

“You don’t want to know,” Spencer said and you stood up to face him.

“Don’t tell me what I want or what I can’t handle, just tell me the truth,” you retorted firmly and he let out a breath.

“He was beaten to death in his own home and then set on fire,” Spencer said, watching you process that.

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered, running a hand through your hair.

“The records also said,” Spencer continued, slowly this time, measuring your reaction, “that he tried to get a meeting with you multiple times but he was denied.”

You stared at him. “So he kidnapped an entire schoolbus of kids?” you demanded. “Are you kidding me? Who does that?”

“It was multiple stressors piling on,” he said patiently. “He was recovering from his burns for the better part of a year, he lost his job, plus the separation from his wife, add that the city’s hero blames him for the fire, and the fact that he’s going unheard… so he did a drastic thing.”

“So now what?” you asked.

“The team’s checking his place, and any other locations he might go to, and hopefully, we’ll find him before morning.”

“Great,” you muttered, sitting back on the foot of the bed, hands grasping the edge, and Spencer knelt in front of you, placing a warm hand on your knee.

“We will find him,” he assured you. “Believe it or not, we’re very good at what we do.”

“Yeah, I know,” you murmured, tucking hair behind your ear, and looking down at him. A moment passed like that, just both of you looking at each other, different in so many ways, and in so many ways, still the same. Spencer wet his lips, getting up eventually.

“You should get some sleep,” he said and you frowned.

“Just me?”

“Well, I need to be up, in case anything changes,” he said and you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Or maybe you just want an excuse to watch me sleep,” you retorted, making him blush.

“What? No, I-I don’t want— I mean, I don’t—” He’s cut off by your little laugh and his attempt at a scowl came out more as a pout as he moved to sit beside you. “You’re mean,” he mumbled and you laced your fingers into his, raising it to kiss his knuckles, then pressing your interlocked hands to your chest.

You can’t sleep and he’s not supposed to, so you end up curled into his side, hand in hand, while he tells you what the last ten years have been like — about being recruited and abandoned by Gideon, meeting Derek who would become arguably his best friend (you narrowed your eyes at that, a flare of jealousy that he kisses away, reminding you of your place in his heart), and stories about cases. By 2am, he’s telling you all about Riley and how his dad had helped cover up the murder of his killer, all to protect his mom from having witnessed it, and you’re hanging onto every word, until his phone buzzes with a text.

Derek: We got him. Kids are all accounted for. Tell your girl.

“They found the kids,” Spencer said first, knowing that would bring you more relief than just telling you that they found Williams. He’s right, too, noticing how your eyes close and you take a deep, calm breath.

“Thank God,” you murmured.

“They’ve got Williams in custody too. You could probably go home in the morning,” Spencer continued, watching you nod, the tight coil in your chest unravelling.

“And you?” you asked, looking up at him, memorising his face now.

“What about me?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow, noting the huff that leaves your nose.

“When do you have to leave?”

“Under normal circumstances? We make sure the PD and the DA have enough to prosecute. Sometimes they don’t have enough evidence, so we stick around for a confession, but otherwise, we leave when the jet’s available.”

You nodded stiffly, lips pressed together. “This isn’t normal circumstances, though,” Spencer continued and you glanced at him.

“It’s not?”

He looked at you with a kind of fondness that you’ve only ever associated with him. “Normal circumstances don’t include you.”

[likea-silhouette]

Tied Together - ex bf!Harry Styles blurb

cw: mention of past relationship

word count: 2k

summary: Ever since you broke things off with Harry, you felt a massive feeling of guilt and hatred towards yourself for allowing such a trivial thing to come between the both of you. Now, all you had were your daydreams of him. What happens, in the present day, when you attend one of Harry's concerts and mix your daydreams with the reality of him being in front of you again. Inspired by the song Someone Else & Jesus by Ricky Manning

Sometimes I have this fantasy.

That one day I’ll get a knock on my door and it’s you with your arms outstretched and the widest, most infectious grin on your face.

I’d run into your arms with an exasperated cry of your name as I bury myself in your scent that envelopes your clothed chest and makes my stomach flutter. I feel as if I’m home.

It’s almost like I can smell you now, but that would be impossible amongst the thousands of sweaty, screaming bodies that are currently admiring you on a stage for the world to see and adore. 

As I briefly come back to reality, I smile to myself, watching you from the side of the stage as you do what you were clearly born to do with your life for the millions who know you’re a dime a dozen.

However, in my head, it’s just you, me, and the love that we once tended to religiously. In my mind, you’d whisper to me in that all too familiar accent, “Sorry, that I'm dropping in without warning, I've just missed you so much,” and I’d smile as if I knew this was always how it was meant to be with us. We were always meant to be so deeply tied together, yet in the real world, we couldn’t have been further apart. I shake my head and allow my ears to take in the screams and loud music that my brain had somehow filtered out in order to bring me to this space inside of my head where I went way more often than I’d like to admit. I wonder if he ever thinks of me as I think of him in a daydream that reflects our past. How he used to play me all of his new songs or tell me about his coffee order from the local coffee shop that day. The smallest things are the ones that bear the greatest weight on my heart because I crave them so so deeply, yet they are so fucking far away. That’s why I have this space inside my head that preserves a version of me and Harry that I would crawl on my hands and knees to obtain again in the real world. However, in my fantasy, I wouldn’t have to crawl to revive our relationship. Instead, we’d both have a proper laugh as we saw how inevitable it is that we would be back together again on my doorstep, because why wouldn’t it be? We are irrevocably chemical after all. Tied by a string that can’t be cut or stomped on. But instead, I left. I told Harry I couldn’t do this anymore - the touring, the months and months apart from one another. It was eating me up from the inside out and I thought that this was what he and I needed. If I just completely cut down our love that had grown into the prettiest maple tree, then eventually I would be okay. That I would heal and so would he. Except it never happened. Sure, things got easier, but I never stopped loving him no matter how many bodies I tried to use to replace him with. Now, Harry and I were strangers and he had been intertwined with other partners, and I was happy for him for that. Truthfully, I was. Harry was completely broken when I broke off our relationship. My best friend and Harry’s sister Gemma kept me in tune with how he was doing, but only because every time I talked to her, which was often, I would insist on asking if he was okay. Years later, I still did this very thing. That right there should’ve told me that what I did was the biggest regret I would make in my entire life. Now look at him - he’s touring the world again and making music that matures with every piece he creates. He’s dressing in a way that shows off how inevitably comfortable he is with himself and I couldn’t have wished more for him…except that he does this with me still by his side. I’m selfish, I know. But it’s foolish, isn’t it? I’m going to my 9-5 job and eating take-out in front of my TV on Friday nights while he’s doing all of this with his life. I am the one who lost out on so fucking much and, the fact that I did this on my own accord is the hardest pill I will ever have to swallow for the rest of my life. Especially when Harry was innocent in the matter, having done absolutely nothing wrong as a partner.

Regardless, I couldn’t be more proud of H for finding himself and those who love him - even if it means others inhabiting his heart like I wanted to again. He deserved love more than anyone because he gives it with everything he has and finding that genuine of a human is rare, yet what did I do with it? I broke it. All because I was young and I thought that long-distance relationships could never work. All because my anxieties ate away at me as I thought of the worst-case scenarios for what or who he was doing while out on tour in my absence. I placed my own insecurities on him and that isn’t fair to either of us. Now, I’m hurting in the process and I hurt him too. How stupid could I have been?

Suddenly, Harry’s voice rang through the entire arena as he addressed the crowd in between songs. Just the tone of his voice sent chills down my arms and spine and brought me, once again, out of my daydream. I watched as he interacted with those in the crowd - they didn’t know how lucky they had it. Being able to hold his attention and be graced with the things running through his mind that eventually left his mouth was such a privilege. I can’t believe I let that very thing slide through my fingers all because of my own stupidity. Harry never wanted me to break up with him. He pleaded with me on the street saying, “We can work this out. I’ll quit. I’ll do whatever it takes. I can’t lose you”, but I couldn’t let him give up his dream and love in life just because it was something I, at the time, couldn’t get accustomed to. This is why I kept telling him as a way to pacify his tears, “This is for the best for both of us” - except I failed to mention that I’m no psychic, merely an insecure girl who allowed her thoughts to weigh more heavily in her chest than the love she had with him. I wish I could talk to that girl again. Warn her that he was it for her. That he was and would be everything she would ever need. Tell her that their love was strong enough to get through anything and that her mind was the one creating wars, not Harry.

Suddenly, I felt Gemma’s elbow poking into my rib just before she whispered in my ear, “He just looked at you.” Quickly, maybe a little too quickly, my eyes moved in Harry’s direction, only to find him just beginning to sing the next song with his eyes very much closed and his hands shaking as they gripped the microphone stand. “I promise you, babe. He looked right at you. Nearly looked like he pissed himself.” There I was again - missing those vital moments in life because I couldn’t get out of the make-believe inside my head.

But-god damn-in my head, it was everything I wanted and more. How could I resist? In my head, Harry watches me do the most mindless of tasks with a smile on his face and when I’d catch him, as I did every time, I’d give his knee a playful tap. He’d respond by wrapping his arms around me and whispering sweet nothings and thanks that said how happy he was that we figured it out and finally found each other once again and that this time it would be different because we were older and wiser. That’s how love is supposed to go, isn’t it? If you truly love someone, then you always find them again. Yet, why did it feel impossible to find Harry again?

I’d like to give up this hide-and-seek chase with love and instead have a kid running around our shared flat who looks like Harry and has his deep emerald eyes that remind me of him every time I look at the being we created together. But instead, I left all because I allowed my brain to tell me what was fact and fiction. Suddenly, the whiff of Harry’s scent filled my nostrils yet again, except this time it was extremely strong. It almost felt real.

I rapidly blinked my eyes and allowed the reality in front of me to come into crystal clear view. What I saw, made my mouth hang agape. Not even three feet away from me - there he was in the flesh, not just in my memories. Harry was shaking hands with a few crew members in all black as he expressed his gratitude while wiping a white towel through his sweat-dampened hair. He had clearly just finished his show and was readying himself back into his regular, non-stage life. And then his eyes met mine. “Told you he saw you”, Gemma muffled from the corner of her mouth at me as she watched the interaction of past lovers now meeting in the present. I couldn’t help the smile that graced my lips the closer he got because this was real. He was so fucking real. It wasn’t one of my far-fetched daydreaming spells, it was Harry, standing directly in front of me with a heaving chest as he tried to regain his composure after putting on a show.

Soon, he was standing directly in front of me with a matching mouth that also hung slightly open. “Hi,” I said after several seconds of the both of us staring at each other with goddamn identical stars in our eyes and wide-spread smiles. At first, Harry didn’t say anything. His eyes simply searched along my face. Taking it in - deciphering if this was reality or one of his own daydreams that he always thought to be fictitious and ridiculous to even be picturing. Yet, here you were. Here you both were. Suddenly, Harry’s arms wrapped around you and you didn’t care about the fact that the sweat from his clothes was quickly morphing into the sweat on both of your clothes. You didn’t care that it had been years and years of pain and missing him because right now, you had him where you had been craving him the most - in your arms. Everything felt worth it just for this moment, whether it lasted for just tonight or for the rest of eternity.

Harry squeezed me even tighter in his arms until eventually releasing but still maintaining a gentle touch as he let our fingertips just briefly kiss one another.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much. You have no idea.”

I shook my head because, actually- “I think I do. I’ve missed you too Harry.”

From that moment I felt something that I hadn’t felt in a long time when it came to Harry and I. It was positive and even excitement.

It was hope.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

From Your Future Him to You

2025 Ikemen Sengoku General Election: A special story where “he” from the future crosses time to meet the present-day “you.”

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

On a quiet night, I sat alone on the veranda, gazing up at the moon.

(So beautiful. I didn't realize it was a full moon tonight.)

The moon's soft glow reminded me of the color of my lover's hair, making me smile before I even realized it.

Mai: "Ieyasu's still not back yet, huh? I'd really like to watch this with him."

Mai: "Oh! Maybe I should go get some dango and tea—"

Ieyasu's voice: "You still have the energy to start moon-gazing at this hour? You're really something else."

(Ieyasu!)

Mai: "You're back—Kyaah!"

Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

The way he held me felt unusually tender, and for some reason, it gave me a strange sense of unease.

Mai: "U-Um, Ieyasu?"

Ieyasu's voice: "What is it, Mai?"

His breath tickled my ear, sending my heart racing.

As I turned to look at him while still in his arms, our eyes met.

Ieyasu?: "What's wrong?"

(It's definitely Ieyasu, but…)

The smile on his face looked somehow more mature than usual.

I stared at him, trying to figure out what was different, and he chuckled.

Ieyasu?: "You've got that puzzled look. I knew I wouldn't be able to fool you."

He gently patted my head, and I blinked in surprise.

Mai: "W-Why are you treating me like a kid all of a sudden?"

Ieyasu?: "Well, from my perspective right now, you are kind of like a kid."

(From his perspective right now? What does that mean?)

Mai: "You're… Ieyasu from ten years in the future?!"

Ieyasu (Future): "Only my mind, though."

Apparently, the Ieyasu standing before me now had his future self's consciousness inside his current body.

Mai: "How did something like that even happen?"

Ieyasu (Future): "I don't know either."

Ieyasu (Future): "Still, thanks to this, I got to meet the you from the past. Not the worst outcome, I'd say."

Despite how bizarre the situation was, the calm smile he wore made my heart flutter.

(Is this what they call grown-up charm?)

(Still, being seen as a kid kind of stings.)

Mai: "Hey, Ieyasu, do you still love me, even ten years from now?"

I asked with a sideways glance, trying to seem a little more grown-up. He blinked once before smiling softly.

Ieyasu (Future): "Of course. I don't want to be apart from you for even a second."

(Eh?!)

I had expected him to get flustered or at least hesitate a little, but he responded so smoothly and without the slightest hint of embarrassment that I was completely caught off guard.

Ieyasu (Future): "Even now, I can't stop thinking about the you I left behind in the future. I miss you so much it hurts."

Ieyasu (Future): "That's why I'm doting on the ten-years-younger version of you instead."

Ieyasu (Future): "Well, even if it's the past you, you're still you, Mai."

He gently stroked my cheek, teasingly—and suddenly, I was the one feeling flustered.

Mai: "S-Stop treating me like a kid!"

Ieyasu (Future): "That's what happens when you try too hard to act grown-up. You're ten years too early to try to play the adult around me."

Mai: "How did you know?!"

Ieyasu (Future): "Please. How long do you think I've been by your side?"

That incredibly gentle voice made my heart pound even harder.

(The future me loves Ieyasu just as much as I do now. No—maybe even more.)

Just thinking about that made the ten years ahead feel warm and precious.

Mai: "Hehe. Thanks to you, I'm actually looking forward to growing old with you."

I said with a soft smile. Suddenly, he cupped my cheeks with both hands, gently tracing my lips with the pad of his thumb.

Ieyasu (Future): "Yeah. You're the cutest when you make that kind of face."

Mai: "............"

The touch carried a mature sensuality. For a moment, I braced myself, thinking he might kiss me.

But he stopped just short—his face lingering near mine—and simply gazed into my eyes.

Ieyasu (Future): "Mai. Let me ask you the same thing you asked me earlier."

Ieyasu (Future): "Will you still love me ten years from now?"

Mai: "Of course! Not just ten years—I'll always love you, Ieyasu!"

I answered without hesitation, and he smiled in satisfaction.

Ieyasu (Future): "Good girl. That's the best answer I could've hoped for. Save that kiss for the "me" you'll be with after I'm gone."

Mai: "Huh?"

His words suddenly cut off. His hands slipped away from my face, and his head drooped, as if all strength had left him.

Mai: "Ieyasu…?"

Worried, I called out—and he slowly lifted his head.

Ieyasu: "Good girl, huh? Yeah. I guess, to my future self, you really are one."

(To his future self? Wait—)

Mai: "Ieyasu, you're back?!"

Ieyasu: "Seems like it."

Ieyasu: "By the way, I saw everything."

Mai: "Everything…?"

Ieyasu: "You trying to act all mature to keep up with him, and that face you made when he patted your head."

Mai: "H-How do you know that?!"

Ieyasu: "I told you—I saw everything. My consciousness was there the whole time, even if I couldn't take control."

(Wait, so he saw all of it?! Even the flirty stuff?! Aaaaah!)

Mai: "I-I see…"

Ieyasu: "..........."

Mai: ".........."

Ieyasu frowned, looking at me like he had something to say.

(Hold on, is he jealous of his future self?)

The thought hit me all of a sudden, and I couldn't help but want to explain myself.

Mai: "Um, that was… I mean… it wasn't like I—"

Ieyasu: "You don't have to explain. I'm not upset."

Ieyasu: "But just so we're clear—if you're going to kiss someone, it better only be the me who's standing in front of you right now."

Mai: "Mmh—!"

Before I could react, he pulled me into his arms and pressed his lips against mine forcefully.

His tongue slipped past my lips, claiming me in a deep, melting kiss that left me breathless.

(So much for not being upset, he was definitely jealous.)

But that possessive kiss, overflowing with emotion, made me so happy that I kissed him back, letting my tongue meet his.

When he finally pulled away, he scooped me up into his arms and stood up effortlessly.

Mai: "Ieyasu…?"

I looked up at him, hesitantly calling his name.

His gaze locked with mine—intense, burning with something undeniable.

Ieyasu: "Sorry, but don't expect to get any sleep tonight."

Ieyasu: "I'm going to remind you exactly who you belong to."

His whisper was soft, but it left no room for argument, setting my whole body ablaze.

(As if I could ever forget. From the beginning, I've always been yours, Ieyasu.)

Instead of answering, I wrapped my arms around the neck of the man I loved.

[epiphany333]

I LOVE MOVIE! FRODO AND I'M DYING ON THIS HILL

Ok, now that I got that off my chest, let's chat a bit, shall we? Because this hobbit *violently shakes Big Blue-eyed Frodo in their fist* did not go there in hell and back again to receive this amount of slander.

PJ's Frodo has had a historically, um... not great reception in the fandom. From being called a wimp, gay (in a derogatory 2000's way), useless, and 'not the actual hero' (which misses the whole point of Tolkien establishing a whole Fellowship in the first book!!), to being disparaged for not showcasing all of the traits of his book counterpart, the little guy has not seen a day of rest ever since he came back from Mordor in ROTK.

Movie!Frodo's biggest problem as the protagonist of a trilogy full to the brim with badasses and heroic feats reminiscent of legend is that he's a reactive character. In the book he gets to do some cool stuff (like standing up to the ringwraiths) which show that he is brave, knowleadgable, wise, respectable, collected, and has some leadership skills he puts to good use once it's only him and Sam. Book!Frodo is the most mature of the four hobbits, who look up to him in virtue of being the oldest. He has also spent 17 years as the master of Bag End, which grants him a great deal of experience before the quest even begins. He's well-settled in his ways and secure.

The movie never goes to any length to establish that more than a few months have gone by between the night when Frodo inherits the ring, and the moment that Gandalf comes back to check on it. We see a montage of Gandalf on his way to Gondor, then him reading in a Gondorian library, and that's it. For all we know, it's been what, roughly two months? Especially since Sam is still dealing with his Rosie Problems, and no one has aged visibly. It's obvious that the movie is not functioning on the exact same timeline than the books.

All of that to say that Movie!Frodo never gets to become Book!Frodo before he's sent away by Gandalf. He doesn't get over a decade's worth of experience in the dealings of the Shire, and he doesn't get accustomed to being on his own in Bag End long-term with the responsibilities that would bring, and thus, he just doesn't have the same well of knowleadge to operate with that Book!Frodo had. He hasn't grown into himself or his role as Master Baggins. I seriously doubt that the movies intended to make us think he is older than 40, and that would be 7 years too old to still be receiving "don't get into trouble" advice from his elders like he does in the Green Dragon scene.

This shift can look small, but it's nothing short of. It shrinks the age and experience differential between Frodo's character and the rest of the hobbits'. His role is no longer that of beloved leader who also is the trustworthy older cousin and Master. He's lowered to their level, and we're meant to see him the way they do in this version of their dynamic: protectively. Not as a guide, but a friend under a terrible burden. And despite this change, the narrative never makes it seem like he matters less than the others, even as the other hobbits go through more traditional hero journeys.

That is so important to me. We have a Frodo that is just as out of his comfort zone as Book!Frodo, but that lacks age and expertise, and yet, he is given as much respect as characters widely recognized as brave and strong. The narrative is compassionate and understanding of him, and doesn't demand from this young adult to show external signs of worthiness for his story to matter.

So yes, Movie!Frodo doesn't have a show-off. He stumbles more than he fights, like when he just trips on Wheathertop and doesn't even put on a fight. Really, count how many times he trips next time you watch the movies, it's greatly amusing. Nonetheless, what makes Frodo the only one who can take the ring as far as he did is something not measurable or quantifiable from the outside. It's not his wisdom, or dexterity, or being quick on his feet, but his endurance, integrity, and selfless love for others; friends, allies, home.

Book!Frodo is not necessarily better than Movie!Frodo because he better fits what we expect a protagonist and hero to be. Both Frodos have this well of care and inner strength, and that is what makes them both fit to take the ring to Mordor. You can like Book!Frodo more for what he gets to do, or because he's more composed and even more rough around the edges than young, inexperienced, vulnerable Movie!Frodo. But to write the latter off when he's, at the core, endowed with the same capability for love and courage is a disservice to both versions of the character.

And as to Movie!Frodo, I love that we get a protagonist that is allowed to not be infallible (though I'm not saying Book!Frodo is). He cries and trips (a lot!!), and suffers immensely yet shows so little, and the inner battle he is fighting is still as deserving of respect, as is the willpower to go through the fires of Mordor famished, cold and feverish, knowing that he won't come back from it. That's a noble sacrifice, and he's written and acted with such humanity. I am very fond of the writing choice, however controversial, of having a main character that struggles in the way he does. He doesn't have to be a great fighter or possess wisdom beyond his years to be taken seriously. We're asked to empathize with someone that is much more likely to be what we would be if we were tasked with carrying the One Ring, but with a heart and spirit that makes up for it. Like, imagine being yeeted out of the home you love at, say, 20 to confront all kinds of perils and nightmares?

We are tasked with empathizing with that guy. Still guileless, though not untouched by grief. Introverted, loyal, compassionate, and incredibly giving and supportive. He gave himself for the World, and he never got to enjoy his life fully afterwards. And unlike Book!Frodo, he didn't even get to carve out his place in The Shire for 17 years prior to this sacrifice. That should be enough to admire and respect him; the fact that he took a burden no one should carry upon himself, before even fully defining who he would be someday, and have that choice taken by the trauma of what he went through.

It is a beautiful task. Frodo's merit and worth are not based on how well he adjusts to the audience's expectations of what a male main character has to be. It is not dependant on cinematic conventions or ideas of "acceptable" masculinity. The unspoken, invisible emotional labor (a job that is asigned to women according to Western gender roles) of having endured the Ring's sway for over a year is enough proof of his good character as an individual. And sure, we can lament what was lost or changed in adaptation. But Movie!Frodo is not less noble for being different. And I personally really like this recontextualization of his character, I consider it a poignant writing choice. And please, how can anyone ever not appreciate Elijah Wood's job as Frodo?? He's incredible at embodying this younger, but still as admirable version of him.

[stompanieart]

i keep seeing rolan age... not discourse, just nice discussions, going around. and i don't disagree with any of it (rolan is just ambiguous enough as a character that you can assign him any sort of characteristic and easily justify it), but i am genuinely shocked at the amount of people--who are in their 20s lmao--saying that he can't possibly be 30+ because he's too immature/not wise enough/makes too many poor decisions, and like, babes. i need you all to understand two things:

1. being in your 30s is great, cannot recommend it highly enough

2. being in your 30s does not imbue you with maturity/grace/knowledge

going through tough shit at 31 made me into the absolute worst, most immature version of myself. like, i'm thirty-fucking-five now and still recovering from what a stupid asshole i was. i know/have known people who i wouldn't consider grown until they'd hit at least 40.

all that to say, i can very easily see rolan as 30, or even my age, because yes, he is dumb, and a dick, and lodged firmly in his own asshole, and he doesn't care. that, to me, is what you get in your 30s. you just stop caring what people think. tell rolan lorroakan's a piece of shit in the grove? doesn't phase him. pointedly ask him if he has anything to say to you after you save cal and lia? straight up admits he was a prick and apologizes (and gives you money that he needs way more than you???). go to kill lorroakan? rolan eats a big ol slice of humble pie and looks right at you when he says he knows what good leadership looks like. part of that is his arc, but come on. think of you when you were 26 or whatever. would you have been that collected and gracious and eloquent at the literal lowest point of your life? i certainly would not have been.

ANYWAY like i said rolan is very vaguely written and i love that people can come up with basically any headcanon about him and have it work, that's so much fun, muah muah never stop dreaming

[jesncin]

listen. as a black person who cares deeply about punk culture and superboy, i could not care less for whatever narrative you are trying to create with kon & the afro punk scene & the merry band of heartlessly racebent black characters (including lex luthor: the xenophobic piece of shit & paul westfield: the eugenist) you are playing with. but, to each their own. however. However. making knockout, a character who WAS NOT queer until years and years after her creation (bc kesel didn’t write her to be bi, that was gail simone!!), her creation in which she was an actual CHILD PREDATOR, a fat black woman is beyond disgusting. do you know nothing of the history of how black women are fetishized in american culture (and globally) or do you just not care? how we are seen as exotic, inherently sexual for our curves? are you aware of the jezebel stereotype and how harmful it is? that black women have gotten and still get terrorized, and raped, and killed over it?

look, i understand that you (for whatever reason) do not care to engage with the narrative of grooming in sb94, but that doesn’t erase the fact that it happened, and that a (at the time) cishet white woman was one of those groomers. were aspects of knockout’s character misogyny? absolutely! the idea that a woman cannot be a sexual predator is misogynistic within itself. the entirety of her background as a sex worker feeding into her being (unintentionally! bc kesel thought this was a male fantasy!) a sexual predator is frankly disgusting. and yet, she still groomed a child, and losin’ it is still meant to represent kon, a 15 year old, losing his virginity to a grown ass woman who manipulated him.

narratives are three dimensional, and shaving down kay’s existence to be nothing but a victim is doing a disservice to that idea. you making her a fat black woman is racist, the same way that simone making her queer was homophobic. full stop. i get this probably won’t change your minds, but i felt that you needed to hear it from a black person.

Okay it's clear if you're getting this heated over my fanfiction, you need to leave. Do not send another ask. Just block and move on. This space is clearly not good for you because you are getting so upset at a fan interpretation that simply introduced a re-imagining of a character you don't like and you're making a whole ton of moralistic assumptions based on her canon version. I never brought up that my version of Kay is "nothing but a victim"- you are projecting. I am aware that women are allowed to be messy, bad and even predatory characters because predatory women exist and that's important to talk about. But if I want to do something different (and I have my reasons that I constantly explain that you continue to dismiss) then surely I'm allowed to in my fanfiction.

I'm aware of all these things you've brought up as I'm reinterpreting Knockout and to assume otherwise this early in on is simply bad faith (calling me "heartless", very classy and mature). There's nothing I can say if you're this glued in to the canon version. It's clear that other creatives (including DC creatives) re-interpreting or re-claiming this character is a sore spot for you, because you're not giving any of them a chance to do something different. It took 70 years for Alan Scott to be canonized as gay, that's just how cape comics are- and it's an aspect I personally enjoy.

You've bought into the events of SB94 like they're historical events that actually happened, and that's just not the case. It's a fictional story written by a white man with his biases in full display. Grooming didn't actually happen to an irl kryptonian. Fans embrace or ignore aspects of canon all the time. How are fans of color like me, not allowed to play and do something different? Why do we have to play by the white man's rules? The Losin' It arc isn't about grooming to Kesel. It's about Knockout, being a sexy bad lady because she kills people. We're getting into semantics about interpretations at this point, which I don't care to discuss if you're being this heated about it.

Also when you say "I felt that you needed to hear it from a black person" you imply that I'm not in discussions or listen in on media conversations by and with Black fans. Your opinion isn't absolute here, and I know plenty of Black critics would disagree with what you're saying (Black Lex Luthor is such a beloved hc among Black fans- and you watering him down to just "xenophobe" reveals a lack of critical examination of his character). You're entitled to your opinion, but I'm not here to suddenly believe in a monolith of Black perspectives based on a series of bad faith asks from you.

Lastly, considering the very vile things you're comfortable with saying about my work, I am reminded that skin folk ain't kinfolk. You're doing a great job making fandom spaces hostile for artists like me and your white peers would rejoice in your actions. Do not talk to me again, if I see another ask that I clock as you I am deleting it.

[lilithkennedyyy]

Young and Beautiful- Leon S. Kennedy

I came back to my hometown for my dad's birthday after a while of not seeing him. 22, big dreams and a lonely heart. I thought it's gonna be a normal day, until I found out my dad's best friend was already there- someone I haven't seen in years. But he wasn't the man I remembered... he was someone else now. Someone I couldn't ignore, even if I knew I should. Suddenly, nothing felt simple anymore.

!!!Please read below!!!

The main character is a woman, but I'm thinking of doing G.N. stories as well in the near future! This is for the girlies who have a thing for older Leon (I got inspired by his Infinite Darkness version). And for the girlies with daddy issues. Even if you don't have daddy issues, you're still more than welcomed here.

In this story, Leon is a police officer, I thought it would be more fitting. This story is inspired by some songs from: The Weeknd, Lana Del Rey, The Neighbourhood and Arctic Monkeys.

This is a oneshot, but it has quite some buildup, being separated by "phases" (titles of some songs that inspired me). This story contains mature content, sex scenes, and also a huge age gap. If you're not comfortable with that, I don't recommend reading it.

This is my first time writing a fanfic seriously, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. English is also my second language. I know it's long, but I think it's gonna be worth it. I really hope you'll enjoy it, since I put in so much time and effort into this!! xx

______________________________________________________________

OLD MONEY

It's my dad's birthday. I came home after a very long time just to surprise him. I finally reached my street, happy memories making the frustration in my body disappear. I had flashbacks of my dad teaching me how to ride a bike, and memories of me and my friends playing around when I was little. But those times were gone in the blink of an eye.

I finally arrived home, the sight of how everything changed making me feel nostalgic, remembering how everything was when I lived with my dad, with no care in the world. I opened the gate with my free hand, struggling since I had so many bags of gifts and goodies. My dad turns 43 only once, right? I somehow managed to open the gate, closing it behind me as I walked towards the door. Locked. What a great start...

I felt the anger build up in my body. I already had a horrible day, and this was the last drop. I knew my dad wasn't home, it was a surprise after all. But I still tried my luck, knocking at the door. Maybe, just maybe he was home, even though that would mean that my surprise would be ruined. After a few seconds, I heard the key unlocking the door from the other side. "Damn it, he's home", I thought. I was preparing myself to hug him and sing a silly "Happy birthday". But when the door opened, my eyes widened and I felt my jaw fall to the ground.

It was Leon. My dad's best friend. I haven't seen him since I was 20 on my birthday. I will never forget him dressing up as a princess that day, even though I was complaining that it was embarrassing.

Looking back, it wasn't embarrassing. It was... adorable. Precious. And I would pay good money just to see him like that again. The great police officer Leon S. Kennedy in such a state? Just for me? Hell yeah, sign me in.

I looked at Leon in shock, dropping my bags to the floor.

"Leon?", I asked, my lips slightly parted in surprise.

"Lilith? Is this you?", he asked, his mouth wide open in shock.

NARATOR'S POV

He was barely processing what was happening. He was analyzing her from head to toe: from the different color of her hair, to her tattoos, her curves, the way her lacy black dress was accentuating perfectly what needed to be accentuated. His eyes were totally betraying him. She wasn't his little girl anymore. She was all grown up. And oh, how he liked it...

MY POV

A big smile appeared on my face as I practically jumped into his arms, giving him a huge, tight hug. He reciprocated, wrapping his arms around my midsection. He smelled so good... Damn it, FOCUS.

"Holy shit, Leon- you've... changed...", I said as I pulled my face away from his chest to look at him. That perfectly sculpted face, as it always was. He had a few faint wrinkles, but oh how good they made him look- FOCUS. I needed to focus.

"You... you too... are you sure you're still my little Lilith that I remember?", He chuckled, but he was completely flustered. The great police officer Leon S. Kennedy being flustered by a 20-something year old? The little girl he held in his arms when he was around her age?

"You want me to give you my ID? Damn, your job really put its mark on you..." I laughed, still analyzing every detail of his face.

"Hmmm...", he pretended to think, "If you're the Lilith I know, tell me your favorite ice cream flavor." 

"Easy. Coke popsicles." I immediately replied.

"Great, you're not an impostor. Welcome back, sweetheart!" He said with a chuckle, hugging me even tighter as if I wasn't real. Like I would've disappeared if he would've let me go.

I gave him a warm smile before unwrapping my hands from him, getting the bags I left at the door and going to the living room, unpacking the gifts I got for my dad, and the goodies I brought. Leon followed me, standing by my side. His back faced the table, his hands on the edge of it, as he was looking at me up and down. He was lost in the memories of us.

THE KNOWING

"So... How have you been? It's been so long...", he said with a borderline pained expression. The time and distance between us made his heart grow fonder. But little did I know back then...

"I've been... fine, overall. Working, studying, the whole shebang.", I answered as I was still unpacking my stuff.

"Such a productive young lady, I see...", he answered me with a soft smile.

"I got that from my dad, you know? The most ambitious man I know", I chuckled, looking up at him.

"I know. You got all of his qualities. And his anger issues.", he joked around, hitting my shoulder playfully.

"If you don't know me, I don't know who does...", rolling my eyes.

"Don't roll those eyes at me. And besides, aren't your friends supposed to know you better than me?", he asked with a slightly confused look, raising his eyebrow.

"Well, I don't have many friends. And after all, you know me since I was a baby. You know me like my dad does. If not better...", I said, my tone getting quiet at the last sentence.

"I can't know you better than he does, Lilith." , he shrugged.

"You do, Leon. He never had time for me. He only took care of me financially. But emotionally, he was never there. You were the one who listened to me whenever I had a problem, the one who got me out of trouble every time I was problematic, and the one who truly... cared..."

I was frustrated at that point, remembering how my dad was always too busy for me. How he was always leaving me behind. But Leon... he was always there.

He cared a lot about me, and he did anything to just put the faintest smile on my face. That, of course, was the bare minimum. Nothing was impossible for him, just to make me happy.

NARATOR'S POV

Leon's expression softened as he listened to her. He remembered how he was always there for her. But he also remembered how he wanted her all for himself. How he wanted to be the reason for her happiness, fulfillment, excitement... love... pretty little sounds... Damn. He wanted her to be his everything. And he wanted him to be her everything.

Old memories made their way back to him, making him feel nostalgic and... emotional. He was looking at her like he never felt love in his life, like she was the only one who was making him feel it for the first time. So many unspoken truths that needed to be kept a secret were obvious on his face. His expression told a story of a painful, forbidden love.

He was so restrained, but so consumed by the need of her. He knew it was wrong. She was the daughter of his best friend. And the age gap was even more insane. But this time, it felt like nothing could stop him. He wanted her to be his. She activated a protective and possessive side of him like no one ever could.

MY POV

I noticed he was deeply lost in his thoughts. But somehow, I knew what he was thinking. His eyes weren't lying. I knew him too well. But... would it be actually real? Or is it just nostalgia? Confusion? Frustration?

Would it be real that he felt the same towards me? Would it be real that he looked at me while thinking that I was the most beautiful woman on earth? While thinking that I'm his no matter what?

Leon gave me a small smile after his deep thinking process, after remembering that we were having an actual conversation.

"I do care a lot about you, Lilith. But don't be so harsh with your dad... I'm sure he's trying his best." He slightly changed the topic as he was trying to calm himself down from his restless mind.

"I'm not being harsh, it's the truth. I will never talk to him about this, though... I know he's busy and he's trying his best. But sometimes... people hurt us without realizing it, or even while still wanting the best for us..." I answered him on a calmer tone.

"It's true... anyhow, I'll always be here for you. No matter what." He reassured me, putting his hand on my shoulder, his touch feathery.

"Thank you, Leon... You have no idea how much this means to me. And it's mutual, you know?" I gave him a soft smile, feeling my self-restraint breaking down in the slightest way.

He reciprocated the smile, pulling me into a gentle, comforting hug. I hugged him back, losing myself into his touch. I could feel the faint smell of his cologne, mixed with a slight whiskey scent. He smelled intoxicating in the best way possible. He felt addicting. No...he was addicting.

My hands were rubbing small circles on his back, not wanting to pull away from his embrace for a second. I was feeling his breath hit the crook of my neck with every exhale, creating goosebumps all over my skin.

The moment was interrupted by my dad who just came home. We quickly split apart, greeting him and wishing him a happy birthday. I hugged him, but the hug felt... empty. I put my "happy" façade back on as we started chatting, stealing glances of Leon from time to time.

_______________________________________________

After a bit of chatting, we went to the dinner table to eat something, finally having a good time and forgetting about the daily struggles.

"And... what do you wanna do afterwards?", I asked them as I was taking another bite of my food.

"Hmmm... I thought about playing some board games.", my dad answered.

"Really, dad? Don't you want something more... entertaining?" I laughed.

"Oh come on, princess... I thought you liked those!" My dad pouted.

"I do, don't get me wrong... But, I thought about some karaoke. That microphone is probably rusting somewhere!" I exclaimed, laughing.

"You heard the princess, man. If she wants karaoke, we'll do karaoke. Aren't you used to it already?" Leon said amused.

"Ugh, finally someone who gets it..." I looked over to Leon, giving him a soft smile.

"I think I might know you a little too well..." Leon said, giving me a "You already know that anyway" kind of look.

I WANNA BE YOURS

We all finished our food, and I got the plates to discard them into the sink. I went back to the living room, looking for that damned microphone, as promised. As I finally found it, I powered on the laptop, connecting it to the new speakers my dad bought.

"So... who should start their lovely concert?" I asked, looking at my dad and Leon.

My dad got up from the couch, snatching the microphone away from my hands, sassier than ever.

"Damn, such a diva today..." I said as I rolled my eyes, amused by his behavior.

He laughed while he was searching for some songs to sing along to. He started with some random party song, making me and Leon laugh to the point where we were in tears. The way he danced along too- damn! He was such a sassy queen. Well, I'm his daughter after all. No wonder why turned out the way I am now.

A few songs and a few drinks later, it was my turn. I got up from the couch, going to the laptop. I thought for a few seconds, and the ideas that came up were... somehow perfect. Why somehow? Well, I could use this opportunity to finally confess to Leon. Once and for all. But the downside was- maybe he wouldn't feel the same. I started feeling insecure, every ounce of confidence I had going down the drain. If I was so sure that he wanted me beforehand, why was I feeling like this?...

I started typing anxiously, searching for the song I had in mind. I hit the "play" button, taking a deep breath to gather myself up, before taking the microphone into my hand. My heart was racing, and I felt my palms get sweaty. I finally took one more deep breath, gathering back my courage and a spark of confidence, as I started singing:

"I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

Breathing in your dust

I wanna be your Ford Cortina

I will never rust"

I noticed the way Leon was looking at me as he recognized the song. I noticed how his breath hitched in his throat as the song started playing, his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink.

"Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours..."

I continued to sing, trying my best not to look too much at him. My dad was there, after all. How could I let him know that... I was in love with his best friend?

Leon on the other hand, was hanging by a thread. As soon as I started singing the chorus, he turned restless. He looked at me, his gaze almost pleading, almost as if he was... desperate. Desperate for my touch, for my love, for... me.

The song eventually ended, and my dad was completely oblivious. He had no clue about my thoughts and intentions behind the song. And thank fuck for that.

"I have one more song I've been practicing, if you don't mind..." I told them. It was a lie. I haven't been practicing anything. But I just needed to get everything off my chest.

They both nodded, curious for my next song choice. I took quick, sneaky glances of Leon, who was sent into pure oblivion at that point. I started the song, hiding the slight mischief on my face.

"I think I need someone older

Just a little bit colder 

Take the weight off your shoulders

Think I need someone older

Baby, am I your little secret?

18, I'm old enough to keep it..."

Leon's jaw dropped as I started singing, his heart drumming into his ears. He could barely listen to me at that point, almost as if he was completely disconnected from reality.

I looked over at him, giving him a knowing look, which made his eyes turn into pure fire. Desperation. Want. Need. Lust.

"Darling, hold me while you wipe my tears

Falling, you say I'm wise beyond my years

Yeah, guys, my age just aren't the same

I'm young and that's okay..."

He was clenching his fists so tight his knuckles turned white. He was completely lost, and he used his last ounce of self-control to keep himself together, to not break into pieces right there.

The song ended, and I gave my dad and Leon a small smile, my dad clapping his hands like I did some grand performance. Little did he know...

I took a seat between Leon and my dad, trying to calm myself down from what just happened. I looked over at Leon, who was completely desperate. I gave him the same look he had on his face: pleading. We chit-chatted for a few minutes, but we were barely resisting anymore. Occasional shoulder brushes, his knee brushing against my leg, our hands "accidentally" touching... it was way too much. For the both of us.

"Leon, don't you wanna sing something for us?" I asked him innocently.

He coughed to gain back his composure before answering: "I... I don't know how to sing, Lilith."

I scoffed: "Don't act like my dad knew how to sing, come on!"

"...Fine." He finally answered. "But only because you asked so nicely."

He got up from the couch, going to the laptop, absentmindedly searching for a song. His leg started bouncing with anxiety the second he sat on the chair, in front of the desk. He ran a hand over his face, his attempts to calm himself down being futile. He finally chose a song, and the second it started, my jaw dropped.

"I would rather, I would rather go blind

Then to see you walk away from me."

I was completely taken aback by his song choice. I shifted onto the couch, reaching to the coffee table in front of me to grab my drink. I took a long sip, trying to come back to my senses. But it was useless. COMPLETELY useless.

"So you see, I love you so much

That I don't wanna watch you leave me, baby 

Most of all, I just don't, I just don't wanna be free..."

That part was the last drop for me. I nearly gagged as he sang the "I love you" part, my heartbeat increasing like I just ran a long marathon. I locked eyes with him, and it felt like the world stopped. Like no one else existed, other than us. I took another sip of my drink as I looked at him, the lump I had in my throat still not going away.

The song eventually ended, and I looked over to my dad. I was so afraid that he'll find out. Maybe it was the paranoia, but he kinda looked like he knew. But if he knew, he would've instantly got up to beat Leon's ass. Best friends or not, he still wanted to protect me. I shook my head to regain my composure as Leon came back to the couch.

"You're not as bad of a singer as I thought, Leon." My dad chuckled. "Maybe we should do this more often."

I nearly spitted out my drink after hearing my dad. Doing this AGAIN? Not on my watch. "Maybe... Lilith's birthday is coming soon anyway." Leon answered him, then looking over at me. "Y-Yeah... a great... idea..." I said, looking down, unable to meet Leon's intense gaze.

TOO LATE

We kept chatting as time was passing, music still playing in the background. Nonetheless, the night wouldn't have been complete without my dad bringing up the never-ending topic- dating.

"Speaking of which, you said you had a date with some guy a few days ago. When will I be able to meet him?" My dad asked playfully.

Leon nearly choked on his drink as he heard my dad. He gripped his glass to almost the breaking point, his jaw flexing in jealousy.

"Well... It didn't work out. Again." I said with a slightly disappointed expression.

"Seriously? You'll gonna end up like those cat ladies everyone is making fun of." My dad, somehow disappointed, but not surprised.

I scoffed: "What can I do about it? It's not like I have Prince Charming right in front of me and I'm refusing to marry him!"

I did. He was right beside me. A blue-eyed Prince Charming who had gray hairs, who also happened to be almost 20 years older than me. And who also happened to be my dad's best friend. Thanks for the reminder, dad...

Leon's blood was boiling. He was possessive. He was jealous. He gripped the side of the couch in frustration, hoping no one would notice. But I did. I looked into his eyes for a few seconds, his grip on the couch loosening. But he was still filled with anger. Before I could return my attention to my dad, Leon gave me a betrayed look. It felt like he pulled at my heart strings.

"Well, maybe one day I'll see you get married. You know, I have a guy at work-"

I instantly interrupted my dad, the never-ending topic starting to get on my nerves. "Don't. Please. I will find someone one day. Just... don't say anything about your guys at work... again."

My dad rolled his eyes at me before he answered me on a slightly annoyed tone: "You'll never find someone if you keep being like this, you know?"

I bit my lip in frustration, fighting with myself in my head. One part of me wanted to tell him that I did in fact met someone... 22 years ago. And another part of me wanted peace. So I chose peace. I muttered a small "Whatever..." before taking a deep breath, my hand clenching at the couch the same way as Leon did. Oh, how the tables have turned.

WHAT YOU NEED

Time passed, and my dad got tired before me and Leon. He kissed my forehead and he thanked me for coming to this special day, and he shook hands with Leon, before going to his room. Me and Leon were still on the couch, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife.

Silence. Only the faint sound of the music running in the background and our breaths filling the room.

Agonizing. So far, but so close.

I kept my gaze on the floor, fidgeting with the edge of my dress as I tried to keep my eyes away from Leon. And he was doing the same thing, looking at the floor as his knee was bouncing in anxiety.

A certain song that came up caught my attention. And... did it make sense.

"I got everything you want with me 

I do everything he does times three..."

A shiver ran down my spine as I heard the lyrics, reminding me of the topic me and my dad talked about earlier. Leon was paying attention to the lyrics as well, and he got it instantly. He related to it. Of course he did... I bit my lip as I heard the lyrics, knowing how true they were. He was way better than any ma- I can't even call them "men". He was better than any boy I met. He was a man. He was the man. He was all I needed.

After around one agonizing minute, Leon finally spoke up, his gaze still on the floor:

"They don't know you like I do."

Ouch. It felt like a stab in the heart, almost like putting salt on an open wound. I knew he did, in fact, know me better than anyone else. I knew he was better. And I knew I wanted him, I wanted to give up on meeting these immature dudes when the love of my life was literally right beside me.

"You really think they were ever gonna be enough for you?" He asked, his grip on his glass as tight as ever. I was surprised that his glass hasn't shattered to pieces yet...

I remained silent. I knew the truth, and finally, he knows it too. I took a sip out of my drink, trying to gather up my courage to speak to him. But he broke the silence again.

"Do you know how much I wanted you every time you came home from another failed date, Lilith? While you were sobbing in my arms, telling me how you're so tired of men? Besides wanting to beat those bastards up for not knowing how to properly treat a woman... Do you know how much I wanted you to choose me? How much I wanted you to know your worth? How much I wanted you to know that you deserve more than some random immature guy? To finally realize that I was the one you truly deserved?" He said through gritted teeth, as he finally looked at me.

I looked back at him, my expression being a mix of pain and need. His words almost brought me to tears, but I fought them back. Why was everything so hard? Why did he have to be my dad's best friend? Why did he have to be so much older than me? Why did this have to be so wrong?

But this time, I didn't care. I needed him. I needed him more than ever.

A LITTLE DEATH

"Leon... I..." I stuttered, trying to find my words. It was useless.

But... There was no need for words anymore. After a split second, Leon's large, calloused hands found my face, pulling me into a rough, heated kiss. I was frozen at first, not being able to process that it was finally happening. The MAN I always wanted, wanted me back even more...

I gave in, kissing him back with the same intensity. My hands found the nape of his neck, his hair, absentmindedly touching him and gripping at him, pulling him impossibly closer until our bodies were flush against each other. I let out small whimpers against his lips and tongue, and the small sounds fueled his desire even more.

He gripped my hips instantly, pulling me onto his lap. He shifted so I could sit comfortably on his hips, his growing arousal poking at my inner thigh. His hands roamed all over my back as he bit my lower lip, making me moan into his mouth, making me grind my hips against his.

He let out a low, guttural moan as his hands found my hips again, guiding me to grind onto his hardening dick. We were both moaning, whimpering messes. But it felt... so right.

His kisses trailed down my cheek, my jaw, finding a sensitive spot and biting it softly. I let out a soft moan, continuing to grind my hips against his dick, which was completely hard at that point.

My sounds fueled his need even more, his kisses trailing down my neck, occasionally biting at my skin rougher than before, making my back arch. He nipped at my collarbones, his tongue darting out to taste my skin.

I looked down at him with a needy expression, and he crashed his lips into mine again, the kiss becoming more intense and messy by the second.

His tongue explored my mouth, he was nipping at my tongue from time to time as his hands were still guiding my hips against his, trailing lower to my ass, gripping it tightly, spreading it.

I moaned into his mouth as he grabbed my ass, and he couldn't take it anymore. He pulled me closer, breaking the kiss for a second, a trail of saliva still connecting our lips.

"I love you so much..." he panted out, crashing his lips onto mine once again, messier and rougher than last time.

I was completely taken aback by his words. The words I never thought I'll ever hear from him. The words that made me feel complete.

My hands moved to his face, cupping his cheeks as I continued to kiss him passionately. I broke from the kiss for a second to catch my breath, and to finally speak out.

"Say it again... Please..." I said breathlessly with a desperate expression, still not believing what he said. "I love you, Lilith..." He repeated himself, his eyes softening, but still half lidded with lust and desire. "I... I love you too, Leon... for the longest time..." I said as I looked deep into his blue eyes, getting lost into the moment. Getting lost into him.

He moved his hand to my chin, his fingers trailed down my jaw, holding me possessively. I bit the inside of my lip at the contact, as he was analyzing every expression I made. He leaned over to my ear, gently nipping at my earlobe and tightening his grip below my jaw before whispering:

"Be mine. Be mine and you'll never have to worry about a thing in your life." He whispered with a low, seductive tone. "Just... let me love you. Let me treat you the way you truly deserve."

"I'm already yours, Leon... I've always been yours..." I whispered back, my head feeling lighter by the second.

A night that we'll never forget.

That's all Leon needed to hear. He lifted me up, carrying me to my room. He threw me on the bed, crawling over me to pepper my neck with wet, sloppy kisses, his hand finding my waist.

My hands ran over his back, my chest arching against his. He let out a guttural moan at the feeling, his hand trailing down my waist, my stomach, my hips, moving under my dress with feathery touches. 

His touch sent me into a place of pure bliss and ecstasy, making me want him impossibly more. He continued to kiss my neck, his tongue trailing down my throat, right over my chest.

His hand was massaging my thigh, inching closer and closer to my aching heat. He found my inner thigh, his fingertips gently ghosting over it, making me gasp. 

He continued to kiss at my chest, the hand that wasn't between my thighs pulling down my dress to reveal my bra-covered breasts. He instantly started planting wet, hungry kisses on the newly exposed skin, sucking on my sensitive flesh, leaving small, red marks. 

The hand he had between my legs found the edge of my panties, his fingertips barely touching me. He hooked his index finger under the edge, pulling them to the side.

The cold air made me shiver, the reaction of my body making Leon smirk against my breasts. He used his other hand to lower my bra, freeing my tits. He kissed lower, the tip of his tongue meeting my hardening nipple as he looked into my eyes. 

The fingers that were above my heat started properly touching me, spreading my pussy before rubbing small, gentle circles on clit. I threw my head back into the mattress at the sudden contact, letting out the most erotic moan I could ever make. Oh, how he loved it. 

He moaned against my nipple, sucking and gently biting it, completely filling my body with ecstasy. The vibrations of his moan went straight to my aching pussy, making me clench around nothing.

His fingers rubbed faster against my clit, occasionally exploring my wet folds, teasing my entrance. He let out my nipple with a wet "pop", still looking at me with that darkened, lustful expression. 

His mouth moved to my other breast, starting to play with my nipple. His middle finger started toying with my entrance, before slowly pushing it inside, all while looking into my eyes, noticing how my brows furrowed the slightest way in pleasure, the way my lips parted... His finger was halfway in, making me clench around him. He finally slid it all in, massaging my walls gently. 

He added his ring finger, making me feel full just from his fingers alone. He started moving them at a decent pace, curling up to hit that sweet spot which was making me see stars. He shifted, positioning himself to my side, pushing his fingers inside me again, resuming his ministrations.

His thumb moved to my clit, rubbing it with such precision that me made me throw my head back, leaning against his shoulder. I started moving my hips along with his fingers, sending me closer and closer to the edge.

"That's my girl..." He whispered in my ear, his voice full of lust. "Fuck yourself on my fingers... Mhm, just like that..."

His words, his tone, the way I felt his hot breath against my ear, the way his fingers were moving so precisely against my aching cunt- it was all too much. I looked up at him as he continued his movements, pulling his face into a heated, sloppy kiss.

"L-Leon... t-too much... I'm so close-" I panted out against his lips. "Not yet, sweetheart. You're gonna be good for daddy and hold it until I say so. Okay?..." He demanded, his voice low and firm.

His words alone almost sent me to the edge. But I tried my best for him. I tried my best to hold it in, small beads of sweat forming on my forehead. It was too much. WAY too much...

"I c-can't... I don't think I can hold it anymore..." I said incoherently, my breathing getting impossibly heavier.

"You can, princess. You can, because I said so. Come on, just a little longer for me... Can you do that, baby?" He whispered in my ear, his tone almost praising.

He slowed down his movements, teasing the hell out of me. My whole body was shaking as I tried to hold it in, but my self-control was slipping away with every movement he made.

"I wanna taste you so bad, sweetheart..." He said on a low tone, stopping his movements. He pulled his fingers away from me, bringing them to his mouth, cleaning them while making eye contact with me. "You want me to make you come with my tongue, my pretty baby?"

I only managed to mutter a soft "Please...", still panting and trembling from the way he touched me. He definitely knew how to do please me in every way. He was more experienced, after all...

He got off me, leaning back on the mattress.

"Sit." He demanded, patting the top of his chest.

My eyes widened at his request, my knees starting to feel weaker than they already were. "Are you... sure? I'm gonna suffocate you-"

He cut me off: "And? That's the whole point. Besides, I wouldn't mind dying this way at all." He chuckled. "I just know I'd go to heaven if I died while being smothered by that pretty pussy of yours~"

My cheeks heated up even more at his words. No one knew how to push my buttons like he did...

I got off the bed for a second, taking off my panties. I got back to my bed, slowly inching towards him, raising my dress over my hips. As I was in front of him, I raised my leg over his face, now completely hovering over him. He immediately grabbed my hips, pulling me down, his hot lips making contact with my aching cunt.

He started lapping at my folds while making eye contact with me, his tongue moving to my clit, circling it with such precision. Since he just got me on the edge earlier, it didn't take him too long to bring me close to my orgasm again. I moved my hips against his tongue, the knot in my abdomen being on the verge of snapping.

"Leon... F-Fuck... I'm gonna come..." I barely managed to say, moaning and panting above him. He hummed in approval against my clit, his lips encircling it as he started sucking on it, the way his cheeks hollowed combined with the wet, slurping sounds making me lose my mind.

"Mhm... Let go for me, gorgeous... Come for me... I'm right here, I got you..." He praised me before attacking my swollen clit again, sucking and slurping at it. "Keep riding my face like that, baby... You're doing so well..."

That was all it took me to let go. My hands gripped his hair as I started moving my hips against his mouth again, sending me over the edge with a loud, high-pitched moan of his name. My legs squeezed his head, all of the strength I had almost disappearing, almost collapsing on top of him.

I sat there for a few seconds to catch my breath. I got off his face, collapsing on his side. He wrapped his hand around me as he whispered into my ear, his voice thick with affection:

"That's my girl... That's MY  girl..." He smiled against my ear, then planting a soft kiss on my cheek. I gave him an exhausted smile, wrapping my arms around him.

I kissed his slick-covered lips, his tongue darting out to deepen the kiss, tasting myself on his tongue. The kiss that was supposed to be gentle turned into another sloppy mess. He pulled away from my lips, looking at me with a new level of desire.

"My darling... Make me feel like I'm breathing again... Make me feel alive..." He said with desperation, panting against my lips.

I nodded instantly, pulling him into another messy kiss. Tongues moving in the messiest way possible, teeth biting every part of skin they could bite.

He pulled me up into a sitting position, finally taking off my dress and throwing it on the floor. He unclasped my bra, throwing it in the same direction.

He quickly got undressed, his biceps flexing as he was taking off his shirt. He was the closest thing to a Greek God I had ever laid eyes on. He threw his shirt close enough to the pile of clothing on the floor. He unbuttoned his jeans, taking them off eagerly alongside with his boxers.

Oh my fucking God.

My mouth instantly started watering at the sight. Long, thick, hard as a rock and his tip glistening with precum, his v-line adding bonus points to the heavenly sight. Holy shit. I would've instantly devoured him if I could.

"Turn around, baby. Show me that pretty ass of yours..." He demanded on a rough tone.

I did as he said, turning around and bending over, arching my back for him. He bit his lip at the sight, getting behind me. His hands played with my behind, spreading it, admiring it. His tip played against my entrance, the wet sounds filling the room.

"I'm gonna fuck you the way you truly deserve, princess." He said on a low, seductive tone. It was a warning.

He slowly pushed himself in, letting me adjust to his sheer size. I bit the pillow that was in front of me, the stretch hurting so good... He hissed, spreading me to get a better view of my stretched out cunt. He kept pushing himself in, until he filled me up to the brim. He stopped for a few seconds, adjusting to the feeling, before he started moving slowly. It was a match made in heaven. I muffled my moans into the pillow as he was moving against me. He made me feel things I've never felt before.

He hovered over me as he picked up the pace, rolling his hips in a way that was touching every sensitive spot inside me.

"Did anyone fuck you like this, sweetheart?" He asked on a low tone, his breath hot in my ear.

"N-Never... Never, Leon..." I barely managed to pant out, throwing my face back into the pillow, muffling my moans.

"Hm? What was that, baby? I couldn’t hear you..." He teased, biting at the nape of my neck.

"Nngh- No- Fuck... Never..." I said louder, my hands gripping the sheets as his movements became rougher.

He smiled against my neck, placing a gentle kiss there. "That's it. That's what I wanted to hear..."

He tugged me up, his chest now flush against my back. He continued to pound me like this, the new angle making me cry out his name. His arm flexed around my neck, making me look up at him with a fucked up expression. He squeezed his bicep, the pressure on my neck making me let out a strangled moan.

"You look so pretty like this, y'know that? So dick-drunk because of me..." He said, his breath hoarse into my ear.

I only managed to let out a broken moan, and that fueled him even more. His thrusts became rougher, deeper and faster, his bicep flexing again to squeeze my neck even more. I was getting lightheaded, my mouth open, my body feeling weaker by the second.

"Love you so much... My pretty girl..." He said into my ear, continuing to mutter praises, planting a gentle kiss on my temple.

The contrast between his gentleness and the roughness of his thrusts and his strong arm holding my neck in place- it was overwhelming in the best way possible. I felt myself get close again, starting to clench around his length.

He felt it, and his other hand reached my swollen clit, rubbing fast circles against it, sending me into a whole another dimension. I moaned his name over and over again, turning my head to him and kissing him sloppily.

He kissed me back with the same intensity, his thrusts getting deeper, his bicep squeezing my neck even more, and the pace of his fingers circling my clit getting faster.

"Come on my dick, baby... Come on... Can you do that for me? I know you can, pretty..."

With that, I started clenching around his length with a broken moan, trembling around him, sustaining myself by holding onto his bicep that was around my neck. He smiled against my neck as he continued to fuck me through my orgasm, his thrusts never slowing down.

He kept fucking me like that, releasing my neck and letting my upper half collapse on the mattress, my ass still in the air.

He grabbed my hips with one hand, while the other grabbed my hair into his fist. He held my hips in place as he picked up the pace, fucking me impossibly faster. He let out ragged breaths and low moans, feeling close to the edge himself.

"Fuuuck... My pretty girl... I'm not gonna last much longer..." He said, his voice rough.

I was a moaning mess at that point, I wasn't able to form a single word. I nodded into the mattress, getting all of the strength I had left in my body to look back at him, muttering a weak "Inside...".

When he heard me say that, his head rolled back with a moan, his thrusts getting erratic. He hovered over me once more, pulling my head up slightly to kiss me deeply, his tongue exploring my mouth like he never did that before.

He came inside me with a final deep thrust, moaning into my mouth like he never felt like this before. And most likely... he didn't. He stood still for a bit, catching his breath, planting small kisses on my cheek, my temple, my neck, my shoulder, my back...

He pulled out, the sight of my pussy glistening with his cum would've been enough to make him hard again. But... not now. We were both tired, and he needed to take care of me.

He turned me around, carefully placing my weak body on the mattress, on my back. He hovered over me, smiling to himself as he noticed how dick-drunk I still was, giving me a soft kiss on my forehead.

"You alright?" He chuckled, brushing some stray hairs away from my face.

I chuckled with my eyes still closed. I nodded, giving him a soft, drunken smile. "I've never been better."

He laughed softly, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. "I think you were right..."

I slightly opened my eyes, a confused expression on my face. "About?"

He could only smile. He kissed my lips again, before speaking up: "About the fact that I know you better than anyone else. I think you were right."

I smiled at him, my weak hand making its way to his cheek, gently stroking it. "I'm always right, Leon." I chuckled.

He rolled his eyes playfully, pulling me into a gentle hug. "Here she goes again..."

"What? Am I wrong?" I laughed, looking down at him, his face buried into the crook of my neck.

"Not at all. But, this attitude of yours... You always had it." He mumbled against my neck. "As much as it annoys the shit out of me sometimes, honestly... it just makes me wanna love you even more." I couldn't help but smile at him, my hand going to the back of his head, playing with his hair gently. "This, or to fuck this attitude out of you." He pulled back his head to look at me. "I mean... Both, actually.”

I rolled my eyes, slapping his shoulder gently. "Oh shut up, Leon..."

He chuckled to himself, burying his face onto the crook of my neck again. "I love you too."

[ill-skillsgard]

will you write more for faust? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

A/N: Oh, heyyy! Here to make my once every year-or-two submission to the Faust girlies. I know you think I've moved on from this, and maybe I should have, but I still am and forever will be down bad for this boy and pairing.

I've had this idea stuck in my head for literal YEARS, y'all. I tried to write it a bunch of times but other things kept coming up. Now, I've finished it, and it comes complete with every emotion under the sun (and some good ol' smut, as is tradition!) This is approximately 6k words, and I'm quite confident any FxF fans who still exist will freak the fuck out reading this. So, I hope you enjoy it, and sorry for leaving you hanging since 2023. LOVE YOU <3

Warning: 18+ workplace harassment, violence, weapons, mentions of asphyxiation, loss of consciousness and blood, drinking, PiV smut, mature language and Faust going from being a problematic BF to a not so problematic BF? You be the judge. This story, along with everything I write, is strictly meant for adult consumption.

Summary: Faust isn't sure he can handle Faith's new lifestyle, but doesn't want to interfere with her choices as a grown woman. His influence hasn't exactly helped her before. He tries to come to terms with it all until Faith turns the tables and does something he never expected.

- Not based on Lords of Chaos. I use Faust!Valter’s likeness only as inspiration.

Read more Faust x Faith here [x]

"Jesus fucking Christ, Faith. You're wearing that to work?"

Faith ignored Faust's remark, and got into the passenger side of his car. He glared at her as the stereo screeched distorted black metal, but she kept smiling.

"I'm gonna be late, Faust. Can we go?"

"Dude, your whole ass is hanging out."

"Yeah, well, if my dad actually stops paying my tuition, I need to save up as much as I can. The sluttier I dress, the more tips I make."

"I told you I'd help," said Faust.

"We have to go!"

Faust sighed and reversed out of the driveway. He said nothing for several blocks, and Faith could tell he was displeased. His silence satisfied her like a new, destructive habit. She had developed a taste for pissing off the men in her life, and Faust was the newest test subject.

Faust pulled up in front of the restaurant where Faith worked and said nothing. Even when she said goodbye, he nodded and stared ahead. Like Faith, his habits were changing. He didn't want to exert control over her, and if he opened his mouth, an argument would ensue. Faith really had changed after all the months he spent abroad, a defiant streak finally breaking through the shell of her religious upbringing. Though he had many times encouraged her to do as she pleased, Faust wasn't sure if he liked this new version of her.

"Hey, I said I love you," Faith repeated.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Are you really that mad?"

"It's fine," he said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Say it back then."

"Love you," he muttered.

"Beetle," Faith sighed. "Say it like you mean it."

"Yeah, Faith! I love you. Love this new fucking wardrobe of yours. Love the idea of weird dudes staring at your tits and ass all night. Love that you're just doing whatever the fuck you want now. You're a free woman. Looks good on ya, kid."

Faith exited the vehicle and came around the side to lean over and in through the window. She kissed him on the cheek. His outburst did not dissuade her, and he glared ahead while she speckled him with more kisses.

"You're so cute when you're pouty."

"Mhmm. Thought you were gonna be late?"

"Will you pick me up at twelve tonight?"

"I dunno. I'll probably be busy."

"Doing what?"

Faust sighed and turned to her finally.

"Probably jacking off or something. I don't know."

Faith giggled. "Okay, handsome. Send pics. I'll see you at midnight!"

Faust took off after watching Faith turn and leave, the edge of her skirt riding up dangerously close to showing her panties, if she had even worn any. It was an outfit he would love to see her in for him, but not out in public. But Faust had vowed to himself not to intervene in her life too much. He hated feeling like a parent to her, like Stan. And he had only himself to blame for leaving Faith behind so she could move on and develop her rebellious side. Now she had a sharp attitude, a tattoo that taunted him, and all trace of innocence was shattered.

He hated to admit it, and would never confirm it aloud, but Faith had changed so much while he was gone. This new girl was far from the one he had fallen in love with. She looked the same and smelled the same, but something inside of her had wholly shifted. Based on how she had spoken to her father the day he came over to interrogate her about Hunter, Faust understood that he had come home to a woman who had taken the girl's place.

Despite the sour goodbye, Faust returned to the bar and grill later that night, parked and entered the establishment for a drink. Faith didn't notice him at first while she busied herself pouring beers from the taps and handing them to her patrons. Faust sat at a high table alone, and watched her until a woman approached him wearing a half apron and a smile.

"Welcome, hun. Can I get you started?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'll have a Guinness on tap."

"Of course, I'll get that right away. Need some more time with the menu?"

"No, just beer for me."

The server removed the menus from the table and left to fetch his drink and several others. Faust barely noticed when she returned and set the pint glass down. He was too busy staring at Faith and how she smiled at her forty-and-fifty-something-year-old patrons posted right in front of her at the bar. One man with a blue baseball cap and a white golf polo kept watching her and grinning. He knew the look. The man liked what he saw--a young, good-looking girl serving him. He and two others took up residence at the bar to watch a hockey match on the large screens bolted to the bar room walls. When they weren't talking loudly amongst themselves, they were shouting and cheering for the home team. Blue Hat paid more attention to Faith than he did the game, and Faust studied him from across the room.

It took a while for Faith to notice Faust, and when she did, she perked up and excused herself. As Faith came out from around the bar, so too did the man's eyes follow. All Faust could think about was what must have had running through the older man's mind; that Faith looked amazing in her tiny skirt and he wanted a piece of her. It tainted his mood, and where he would have felt a twinge of delight in her approaching him, there was a curdle of disdain.

"Thought you were too busy jerking it to come pick me up?" Faith said, smiling.

"I got bored, and you haven't sent me anything new to get me going. I've been stroking it to the same titty pictures for two years."

"I can fix that for you soon." Faith winked, and it broke his stern mask for a moment.

"Please do."

"You're early, by the way. I'm not done for another hour."

Faust nodded. "I felt like a drink."

"Why don't you come up to the bar?"

"Maybe. I don't want to get in the way of you making tips."

"Just pretend you don't know me," Faith said with a mischievous smile.

Faust sat back, spread his legs and smirked. "Would that turn you on?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Okay, then go back to your customers and pretend you're not actually addicted to my big fucking cock."

A crack of arousal stung in her groin and fizzed out through her bare legs. Faith had been so sure that she was over him when she started seeing Hunter, but that had been a farce. Faust's words had a way of snaking through her with a forked and flickering tongue. One well-timed comment could shake her core, reminding her that she was and might always be obsessed with him.

"Go on, baby doll. Make that money. I'm just another guy who wants to drink beer and have a good look at you."

Faith wanted to reach up and kiss him, but the prospect of playing strangers was a promising game of fun. She nodded and returned to her post behind the bar, much to the delight of the man with the blue hat. He had been dropping flirtatious lines on her all night, and now that Faust presided over her in his secretive way, each wink made her heart skip a worried beat.

Faust made his way to the bar at his own pace, just as Faith noticed her other patrons were getting bleary-eyed and too jolly. Their team had won, and the celebration called for Tequila shots, which Faith lined up on the rail. She looked over at Faust and he nodded for another Guinness. He ignored the raucous celebrations next to him, and sipped the dark beer as though he were the only one in the bar. Faith stole looks at him, always one to counter the energy, and admired his calm demeanor, though she knew he was anything but placid on the inside.

Blue Hat noticed Faust, and lubricated by alcohol, called over to him. "Damn, was your mom an Amazonian? You're the biggest motherfucker I've ever seen!"

Faust said nothing but raised his glass and nodded. It wasn't the first or last time someone remarked on his height, made even more noticeable by his black leather jacket, boots and long hair.

"Hey, sweetheart, get the giant over there a shot too," Blue Hat said.

"I'm good," said Faust.

"Oh come on! Bet you could house a twenty-sixer no problem. A shot, honey!"

Faith looked at him, worried and unsure. Faust shook his head again.

"I think that's a no," Faith said. "And I think it's about time to call it an evening, gentlemen. I'm closing soon, and you've had plenty."

"Don't tell me your cutting me off. You know, I've been coming here since probably before you were born. Which makes it even weirder that I find you so hot. You're my daughter's age."

Faith's cheeks burned and she could almost feel the way Faust boiled, too. He glared at Blue Hat, but the older man was too drunk to notice. He reached over the bar and touched Faith's arm.

"What are you doing after tonight, honey? Do you like pool? 'Cause I got a real nice pool table. I can teach you how to play."

"Oh, I know how to play," she said.

"Oh, you do? Well, how about you come over and teach me a thing or two, hm? We could have some fun."

Nobody else in the bar besides Faust paid any mind to Blue Hat. The music was loud, the spirits high from the home team win, and servers were clearing tables and collecting glasses. But Faust heard none of the commotion. An angry whistle rang in his ears as sweat pilled on his palms and back. He pressed his teeth together to keep from screaming or bashing Blue Hat's face into the bar rail. The game of strangers lost its novelty and Faith tossed him a begging stare not to intervene.

"Now, now, I think you've had enough," Faith laughed uneasily. "Don't say anything you'll regret."

"Okay, okay. But can I tell you something, beautiful?" Blue Hat leaned all the way over the bar. "You are so fucking gorgeous. I just wanna take you home."

Faith laughed it off again, then busied herself with the last orders of the night, turning from the bar patrons to punch totals into the tablet. All around them, the din of voices and clinking glass consumed, but Blue Hat had his drunken sights set on Faith. Faust watched him watching her, and pictured sending him through the window. He could not cause a scene at her place of employment, but he wished he could. And maybe a younger version of himself might, just as he had when he saw Hunter kissing Faith at the house party. He wondered if he had really changed all that much in less than a month.

"Hey! Hey, beautiful. Come back over here," Blue Hat called to her.

"Sorry, I can't. Just give me a minute," Faith said. She made the best of every distraction possible, but it only lasted so long before she had to close out the tabs from the men seated before her, including Blue Hat, who was eager to get her attention again.

"Come on, honey. Just one date?"

"I think you're gonna go home and sleep this off, okay?" Faith said. She was professional, and juggled her tasks well.

"Only if you come home with me!"

The familiar flames of rage erupted in Faust's head, the same ones that had consumed a life, and licked at the sky from the spires of Trinity Church. Faust broke, and stood up fast, sending the stool flying back with a screech.

"She said fuck off, asshole!"

Before Faith could react, Faust grabbed Blue Hat by the shirt and hauled him off the bar stool. The sudden commotion drew everyone's attention as Faust raised his fist. His knuckles hovered, ready to fly at any second.

"Faust!"

He barely heard Faith's voice, and everything melted away except for Blue Hat's rosacead face.

"I suggest you fucking beat it before I turn your face inside out, motherfucker."

Voices cut through, and two male staff pulled Blue Hat away from Faust as he kicked and screamed and lost his hat.

"Oh, yeah? Try me, punk! Do you know who I am? I'll kill you!" Blue Hat repeated his threats all the way out the door while Faith's manager Paula checked on her.

"Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave, as well," said Paula calmly to Faust as he seethed, shoulders heaving with deep breaths.

"No, wait! Paula, he's my boyfriend. He was just trying to--please. It's okay."

"This is your boyfriend? But I thought..."

"It's a long story."

Paula conceded, but not before sizing up Faust with a loud and disapproving sigh. "Close it up, everyone. Let's clean up this shitshow.'

As the buzz died down, and the restaurant emptied, Faith came around and hugged Faust. She stifled a laugh and tugged on his labels.

"You are just a magnet for violence, Beetle. I can't take you anywhere."

"And you just let dudes talk to you like that all the time?"

"Not always. But that's kinda what happens when you're a girl. Sometimes you have to smile and take it."

Faust scoffed. "Absolutely not. You don't take that shit."

"Easy for you to say, Mister six-foot-four. It's different when you're a woman. Sometimes it's easier to smile and nod than to get stalked and assaulted."

"Okay, Jesus fuck, I'm getting you a knife."

"Don't be silly!"

"No, I'm serious. I keep one in my jacket at all times," said Faust.

"I know. Now, will you behave so I can close up? Then we can go home and have all kinds of filthy sex. My big scary protector." She traced circles on the center of his chest, and it did wonders to calm him. Faust smirked and kissed her.

"Filthy, hm? That's how you want it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Yeah, okay. You gonna be a good girl for me is that it?"

She stood on her tiptoes and whispered, "I don't want to think. I just want you to make me your little sex doll."

"Hm, well how could I refuse? Even though I know your pussy isn't used to me anymore."

"Make me used to it."

"Alright, bad girl. Do what you need to do," Faust pulled his cigarette pack out and shrugged off his jacket, hanging it on the back of a barstool. "I need to cool off a bit. I'm gonna go out for a smoke."

"I'll be like twenty minutes."

"Sounds good."

Faust stepped into the cool night air and breathed in deeply. It wasn't fresh like the air in Norway where he had spent a couple weeks touring with Grey Tomb, but it was better than the staleness of the restaurant. He lit his cigarette and looked up at the sky. Smog covered most of the stars, and he grew wistful for the brilliant views of the country that had welcomed him during his year touring abroad. He had missed Faith with all of his heart when he was in Europe, and though he had her back, his longing still hadn't evaporated. It settled on different lands where his talents were revered and not looked down upon. A new dream of taking Faith away from everything they knew of their small town pervaded his thoughts. He wondered if she would ever follow him that far.

It wasn't the right time to ask her, he decided. He was still trying to navigate Faith's new personality, to uncover what more about her had changed. For now, he would relish in the familiar comfort of having Faith back in his life.

Faust paced slowly back and forth in front of the restaurant, smoking until the urge to piss took him around the corner between the restaurant and a pet store that had closed hours prior. He stuck his cigarette between his lips, freeing his hands to unzip his pants to relieve himself from the beers he had drank inside. Faust spat the butt of his smoke into the puddle he made with a short hiss, satisfied as he tucked himself back into his pants. He turned on his heels, and met with a force that slammed his skull and spine into the brick wall. The air fled his lungs, vision clouding over like a billow of steam.

A pair of thick hands encircled his neck, and through the buzz, Faust saw his assailant eye to eye. The man with the blue hat, now without his effects. He was a few inches shorter than Faust, but his tattooed arms were formidable from years of laboring. Faust scratched at the fingers crushing his throat, but the man didn't flinch. Blue Hat dodged each attempt Faust made to kick or drive his knees up, too.

"Like that, ya sonofabitch? Not so tough now, are ya?"

Faust could not take the breath required to retort. Heat raged up from his neck and pounded in his cheeks. The blood vessels in his eyes screamed until they burst and blinded him over again. Blue Hat pressed his thumbs into Faust's trachea harder, intent on breaking something as his victim turned purple.

Faust pressed his teeth to his lips, producing a weak f-f-fff sound that died in his compressed throat. His lungs fought to inflate with each passing second, shuddered in his chest, on the brink of collapse. His temples throbbed, and soon his assailant's weathered face blurred.

I'm dead. I'm dying. It's finally caught up with me. Faith...

"I'm gonna leave you in a puddle of your own piss, fucker. How about that? Nobody fucks with me."

Please don't let me fucking die like this.

Another moment without oxygen passed and the thoughts in Faust's head died. The synapse in his brain crackled. All strength left his limbs and his legs went limp, dragging his weight down and scraping the bricks behind him. All he could see was the blurred image of a man's rage-stricken face, his bared teeth and wild eyes, growing blurrier and somehow distant from him. His heartbeat slowed, each thump louder yet spaced farther apart from the last. He was falling, everything turning black.

A terrible howl ripped through the alley and echoed off the brick, ringing off the nearby dumpster like a struck bell. The man let go of Faust's neck and flailed backwards as a sudden explosion of pain erupted in his upper back.

Faust sucked air into his pulsing lungs, throat like shredded, bloody meat. He tasted iron.

"Faust! Faust, get up," Faith yelled.

Her voice cut the haze like sunlight breaking through storm clouds. He still couldn't see, but flung his hand out to find her. Pain oozed into his skull, but Faith was there and she pulled him onto his knees.

"You gotta get up, Faust. Come on!"

"F-Faith--"

"Please, baby. Get up! Breathe! Breathe for me, please!"

Faust knew he had to do as she said, and struggled to a stand, his legs still wobbling from lack of oxygen. Pins and needles ripped through his extremities and Faith was not strong enough to support his weight for long. As the edges of his vision returned, Faust looked around the alley and saw Blue Hat lying face down with a knife--his knife--lodged in his left shoulder two inches from the neck. A red blossom of blood grew steadily on the back of his white polo. Faust looked at Faith, dwarfed in his leather jacket, wide-eyed, and snapped into urgency.

"Oh... oh, fuck," said Faust.

Faith pulled on his hand, and he took two uneasy steps, head screaming from the near asphyxiation. It took a minute to orient himself, and when he was certain he could move without falling, he took Faith by the hand, hunched down to pull the knife out of the man's back and stumbled away as fast as they could without looking back.

~*~

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, Faust! This is... I... Oh my God! I killed him! I stabbed that guy and he's probably fucking dead!"

Faust struggled to get his boots off, still woozy from the strangulation, while Faith babbled and paced his apartment. He flopped onto the couch and closed his eyes to try to make the world stop spinning, but Faith's panic filled his ears and finally, he reached out to hush her.

"You didn't kill him."

"Yes, I did! Didn't you see all the blood? Faust, I killed him. I'm gonna go to jail. My life is over. They're gonna find me and then I'm done!"

"Quiet down! Please, Faith, just calm down. You didn't kill him with one tiny stab wound."

"What if I severed a main artery?" Faith said. "What if there are cops there already? They're gonna know it was me."

Faust grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her onto his lap to stifle her fresh bout of tears. He cradled her, pressed her face into his chest, and began to rock slowly. Every few seconds, Faust hushed her until her sobs turned to whimpers.

"You are not going to jail. He didn't see you, and if anything were to happen, they would come after me," Faust said.

"Oh, so can take the fall? No... I don't want that either."

"Listen to me, Faith... everything will be fine. He was a big dude. It takes more than that. Shit's not like how you see in movies. Plus it was defence."

Faith looked up at him with watery eyes. "Is this how you felt after...Sven?"

He flinched. "I thought I told you never to bring that up ever again."

"You're right. Sorry, I'm an idiot," Faith's voice shook.

"No, you're not. You saved my fucking life, babe. Hey, look, and listen to me... I could have died. That motherfucker was seconds away from killing me. Killing me, Faith. But you did what you had to do, and I'm so fucking proud of you."

He kissed her hard, tasting the salt of her tears and her half worn off lipstick. It was the sweetest taste in the world. Faust had spent months trying to remember her flavor while he was gone, but it had faded from his mind. With it fresh on his own lips, he never wanted to go a day without kissing her again.

"It doesn't matter what it felt like when I did what I did. Doesn't matter that we broke up and we both tried to forget each other. And I don't fucking care if I have to get a real job to support us both. I just want you, okay? Forever. You are mine."

Faith nodded as she clung to him. "I never loved him, Faust. Never. I swear. You're the only person in the world I care about. It was fake... I was just trying to convince myself that I moved on from you. I was such an idiot."

"Yeah, I know," a hint of a chuckle came through, and Faith snorted, too. The smile only lasted a second before she grew quiet and stared at him.

"I would kill for you, too, Faust. I'd do anything. I get it now... I understand what you did," Faith said.

"Shut the fuck up," Faust growled, and smothered her lips again so no words could escape. As much as he loved Faith, she pissed him off almost just as much. After a full day's worth of anger, and having almost met his match, Faust was in an unforgiving mood. He had lost all control of his life, and Faith was the last familiar thing to which he clung. Yet even she seemed like a stranger now.

"Get on your knees," he said between mashing their mouths together. Faith didn't hesitate. She pulled away and slid off his lap onto the floor, staring up at him and waiting for orders. He nodded slowly. "That's my good girl. And you're going to stay my good girl, aren't you? Take your top off."

While she stripped, so too did Faust remove his pants and kicked them out of the way. He pulled his shirt off next and let Faith take him in for as long as she needed before she whimpered and looked longingly for guidance. This is what he craved. Her big eyes pleading for him to instruct her, to teach her. He didn't want to think of her gaining new experience with another man, learning how to dress to get attention and forgetting about him, however temporary. He wanted his good church girl to corrupt himself.

Faust widened the space between his legs and smirked as Faith stared at his cock already erect enough to touch his navel. She bit her lip as her eyes got heavy.

"No matter how many times I see it, I still can't believe how big you are," said Faith.

"Oh yeah? Well guess what? Now you're gonna fucking gag on it. So get over here and open your mouth for me, princess."

She listened, and he purred, leaning over and grasping the back of her neck while he gathered all the saliva in his mouth and dripped it onto her tongue.

"Suck my big fucking cock like a good girl. Now. Like your life depends on it."

Soon he was wrapped in a warm, wet embrace. Faust swore he could feel the ripples of pleasure in his hands and feet, and she had only just started. He moaned and sank into the couch, spreading his arms and legs and tilting his pelvis up to give Faith the best angle. He looked down and cursed when he saw her mouth so full, felt her tongue bathing as much of his cock as she could manage. She pulled off and wrapped her hand around the base and kissed the head over and over until he growled and forced her head back down.

"I know you wanna make out with it, but I need to feel that throat right fucking now. Fuck's sake... After the night I've had. Mmm. After the shit you gave me all day," Faust pushed his hips up, giving his instructions between biting his lip. "That's it, baby. There you go. All the way down."

If this was her punishment, Faith thought, she could handle it. All she fantasized about was having Faust back, him making her do the vulgar sex acts he had taught her before, and new ones she had yet to discover. Hunter had been a good boyfriend, and sex with him was better than she expected, but it was nothing like how it was with Faust. With him, she felt brand new. Like her mind had been fresh until she flipped through the filthy pages of his depraved Kama Sutra, each chapter dirtying her even more. She wanted public sex like when he brought her to the boiler room, sweaty, unrelenting, hedonistic fucking like in the motel room when they had put on porn and tried to copy what they saw. Faith needed him to pick her up and make her feel small and stuff his cock into her no matter how much it hurt sometimes, and she wanted to convince him to keep going even though he knew it was painful. She wanted to see how much of his cock she could take in her mouth before she choked and made him moan from the sound of her struggle. Nothing felt as good as when his tough exterior melted away and left him panting and gripping for anything to hang onto.

"That's my good fucking girl. You like that nice big dick in your mouth, huh?" Faust groaned.

Faith moaned around him and he sank further into the sofa, eyes rolling. One moment, she was bobbing up and down on him, trying her best to keep her lips wrapped tight around him, and the next he pulled out and told her to stand up.

"Turn around right now, and bend over for me. That's right. Show me those fucking panties. Your short little slutty fucking skirt. You like it when men look at you, don't you?"

"Only you, baby--"

Smack!

"Don't fucking lie to me. I know you think you're some kind of bad girl now. Getting tattooed, working at a bar, wearing your slut fucking outfits. I bet it gets you off knowing all those guys go home and pump their dicks to the thought of you. You like getting hit on. You want them to think of you."

"Mmph, Faust..."

"But when you went home every night and played with yourself... Who did you think about, baby?"

"You. I always thought about you."

Faust slapped her ass again, purring, "that's fucking right. You thought about me. And guess what?"

"What?"

"I thought about you, too. Only you. I always jerked off to the memory of stuffing that pussy so full of cock. Mm-hmm, how you'd whimper and almost cry from it. I guess, even though I'm just one of the many guys who get off to you, I still have it made... 'cause I'm the only one you think about when you play with that pretty little pussy."

He stretched her panties over, and pulled her onto his lap. Without a moment to get used to him, Faust angled his hips just right and shoved himself into her until there was nowhere else to go. As a short-lived act of kindness, Faust started slow, one arm coiled around her chest, and the other making sure her panties didn't slip over and obstruct the insertion. Once her breathing leveled out, his thrusts picked up speed and force.

"Listen to me, yeah? Are you listening?" He whispered in her ear. She nodded frantically. "You're quitting that fucking job, but not before you go back to the bookstore and ask for your old position back. I don't want you going out with your whore friends drinking at fucking dive bars anymore either. You're finishing school with good grades. Do you fucking understand me?"

"Yes, Faust," Faith squeaked.

"Second... Mmm, my god, that pussy feels so good on my dick... You're getting that stupid tattoo covered up. I don't care what it is, just get rid of it. And you know what else? Fuck, can't believe I'm about to say this... But... Fuck... You're gonna be a good little girl for your dad. Get your fucking tuition paid for. Don't fuck this up by trying to be something you're not. You got that? You have the chance at a good fucking future--something I never had. You're not gonna waste it trying to prove you're some kind of bad-ass. 'Cause you're not."

"Okay, I will, Faust."

"Promise me."

"I promise!"

"Yeah, you're gonna be a good little Daddy's girl again."

"I will."

"That's right. You're gonna do good in school like you used to."

"Yes, baby."

Faust lifted her shirt to squeeze her breasts, his other hand toying with her clit as he thrust in harder.

"You're gonna have a good career. Make lots of money."

"Okay," she whimpered.

"And you're gonna fuck my cock forever. Because you belong to me."

"Yes, baby, I belong to you. I know, I know."

Just when Faith thought he might speed up, Faust pulled her closer, angling her face to his so they looked into each other's eyes.

"And I'm gonna fucking marry you... One of these days. And I'm gonna keep you so well-fucked and cumming on my dick every night. I promise."

"Mmm, oh my God, Faust. That's so fucking hot."

"Yeah?" He smothered her mouth with his, moaning as he pumped his groin up and up and up until Faith was shaking on top of him. "I wanna feel it now. I need you to cum all over my cock, baby. It's the only way I can cum too."

Faith lost words and communicated her agreement by murmuring and whimpering in time with his rapid thrusts, but she nodded, and Faust continued rubbing her clit exactly how he knew she liked it.

"Do it, baby. Cum for me. Cum for me right now. I wanna feel you get so tight and cum with my cock inside you."

The rhythm sustained, and Faith nodded, delirious, and let the warmth coupled with his perfect little strokes take over her mind. Faust kept whispering in her ear. He knew how much she loved his dirty talk and hearing him moan as he approached orgasm as well.

"You're gonna cum, baby, yeah. I'm gonna make this pussy cum for me. Aren't I? Yeah, just like that, hm? Keep playing with your clit while I fuck you. Mmm, feel that fat cock splitting it while I hit that fucking G-spot over and over and over, baby. That's my good girl, Faith. Yes. Cum for me. Be a good girl and cum on me."

"I'm... I'm gonna..."

"Yes, baby, you're right there. Oh, fuck, I feel it--"

"Keep going! Oh my god, please don't stop."

"Nooo, no, no, I'm not gonna stop, princess. Not until I feel that pussy spasming all around me. Mm-hmm. Be my good girl and give me what I want."

Faust kissed her again and mixed their moans, thrusting and rubbing and cursing until Faith's breath finally hitched and she made a pained expression and gasped. He felt her entire body tighten, and an immense wetness that followed immediately. He opened his eyes and saw more liquid than he anticipated, yet all of his own fluid had shot out inside of her. The realization made him leer with satisfaction.

"Awww, did my good girl squirt all over? Fuck, baby, that is so fucking sexy. Let me just... Mmm, fuck. Pump you so full of cum," Faust shivered. "Christ! Oh, fuck... I'm still... shooting it. Fuck. There you go, princess. Nice, big load of cum for your sweet, wet little pussy."

"I don't think..." Faith paused to catch her breath. "I have ever cum that hard. Ever."

"Oh yeah? Sex hits way different after you've murdered someone."

"Faust!"

He chuckled and soon was biting his lip again as he pulsed inside of her. "You're still taking your birth control every day, right? Because I just unloaded a whole fucking population of babies inside you."

"Yes, silly. I've never gone off it."

"Mmkay, good. I, uh, think I got another one in me, to be honest."

"You can't be serious?"

"Oh, I'm fucking serious. Daddy got real backed up while he was away."

"Ew! Don't say that!" Faith said.

"What? You don't like it? You don't want Daddy to keep fucking you?"

Faith pressed her palm over his mouth. "That is so wrong."

He stuck out his tongue and she snatched her hand away. "I thought girls liked that Daddy shit?"

"Well, not me!"

"Yeah, guess you got a good relationship with your dad. Probably a good thing."

"You're a nasty boy," Faith giggled. "But... I like it."

"You fuckin' love it.

Faith kissed him, and soon, he was stirring his hips again, still inside her.

"I was serious about another one, though, baby. Can we, uh, take this one to the bedroom?"

"Yes, sir," Faith replied.

He purred low in his throat. "Now that I can get behind. Sir? Fuck. Get in that fucking bedroom, young lady."

[tetitous]

My small, very personal, I understand if you don't see it that way, takes on a few things after having rewatched the entirety of Neon Genesis Evangelion, the End of Evangelion and Rebuild of Evangelion (under a read more for both spoiler and not wanting to take up too much space reasons), it's a lot of Rebuild though:

NGE and EoE don't feel like they're set in the same timeline to me. I think in EoE Shinji is so much a representation of the part of the fandom the creators despise that he becomes too different from himself. I'll always contrast the hospital scene with the bed with Asuka and Shinji, maybe that's why. But genuinely to me the EoE timeline is one in which the actions of Shinji may be similar, but his internal world has to be very different from much earlier on.

I have 0 clue if Shinji from the rebuilds ended up connected to alternate versions of himself. I can see where it's coming from, but I'm not sure.

Also to finish with him, I don't think he necessarily ends up with Mari at the end. While he does flirt back, I feel like it's more here to show he's reached an adult state of maturity, and the imagery of holding hands has been used with a lot of other characters, mostly from a platonic perspective. Also they're simply not close enough to be "endgame" material, so I cannot see it in any serious manner (anyways in my head Kawoshin meet some time down the line and both share a more equal, less devoted kind of relationship and become canon aaa)

Rei I may not be the core of unit 00, maybe there is a "Rei 0" whose sole purpose was to be the core from the get-go, but it being Rei I is more interesting so while the thought crossed my mind I'll still go with the more common theory

Whoever said Rei was a shallow character made to be like a perfect anime doll for otakus to enjoy first is a lot of things I don't want to say but think really hard because this perception of her ruined interpretations of the character and the show for decades. She's fascinating.

I really really enjoyed that in 3.0+1.0 she learns to define herself completely separate not just from Gendo, but also from Shinji, for those in the back who didn't get it the first few times. It also makes it pretty heartbreaking in the last few scenes with her, to see her slowly fit back into the Rei Ayanami mold against her own active will. The narrative won't let her become something that she wasn't programmed to be, not because she can't but because Gendo, who made her dependent to NERV by design, won't let her.

Reframing Kaworu's love for Shinji as a form of dependance is interesting, but waaay too unexplored. I do not think the sequence with Kaji was meant to be taken as something that really happened, simply because it looks too much like he just took on the role (and the clothes) of Gendo, or maybe a version of Gendo who would have done the right things, maybe. Not 100% sure what the movie meant by that btw.

I had the very wrong memory of Misato being left behind in the Rebuilds. I was wrong, but she feels less tortured by her relationship with her father. Or maybe it's because the show didn't want to criticize her sexuality like it did in NGE, most likely because it kind of was a bad take to blame anything on female sexuality when the male cast was Like That. It's a little weird to me that the show barely criticizes her for abandoning her child in comparison to her own father or Gendo, though I can imagine that she did a lot for him behind the scenes, so that he never feels left behind, whereas she and Shinji have been neglected. But it did feel like a double-standard. She apparently has the right to be the absent dad this time, and honestly ? Good for her... I guess? (Misato being not the step mom, but the dad that stepped up, not for her biological son but still is very funny to me, basically)

Asuka in NGE I wish they brought you to the Rebuilds so that you get a happy ending, I hope the theory that you are the grown up version of Asuka we see in 4.0 is true uuhuuuu...

The reveal of Shikinami being a clone really should have happened sooner. It would have helped with understanding what separates her from Soryu, but also with developing her personal issues. Btw it implies Soryu was the donor for the Shikinami cloning, right? Does that mean she's dead in this version?? Like the mom did manage her murder-suicide plan?? I'm a bit horrified by the idea.

Love the relationship between Shikinami and Kensuke, what do you mean he replaced the emotional support doll of loneliness with actual connexion and they have a sort of mentorship with no mentoring going on? I love found family with unclear, not simply definable dynamics

In general I understand, Soryu was so good, one simply cannot do her as good twice, also her issues were like 2 mountains of above average trauma so...

Mari... is a mess. I understand her purpose with the ending, but she doesn't function with the other characters, not because she couldn't, but because she doesn't have the time to AND the development of what is there seemingly happens off-screen. Also her backstory reveal just makes things Complicated(TM). I don't hate her, but I can hardly say I enjoy her.

Gendo got erased from reality along with all Evas, which is the only thing that brings me joy while knowing he did get what he wanted. Even EoE was too kind to him, honestly

[tzilatza]

NATLA Review - spoilers

Woke up today still feeling annoyed after finished the Netflix ATLA remake last night, and I think I've figured out the core reason.

It's the fact that: If they had held truer to the original source material, we could have had a truly great show. I disagree with those calling it a complete disaster. The acting was good, great in some cases. The effects were very well done, the bending looked about as good as it can in a live action media. The scenery was lovely.

But what happened in the writer's room?! The way they just reveal all the back stories up front EVERY TIME is honestly insulting to the audience. It's like they're so terrified that smartphone culture has made the public so accustomed to instant gratification that they have no faith we will stick around and keep watching if they make us wait for anything.

They're also clearly terrified of complexity. One of my biggest gripes with this remake is Jet's story. They completely took out his plans to murder a whole town of innocents in order to get a few enemy soldiers. Now, Jet isn't my favorite character, but his story is so important. Because it is real. The world is full of people who have been so brought down by injustice that they lose their sense of right and wrong, and we need to see that on screen. If Jet is too complex for them, how will they handle Ba Sing Se in the second season.

This goes along the same lines as removing Sokka's sexist moments. They felt they had to do it to make him more 'likable.' Yet the writers themselves went full sexist on Katara's character. They've taken out so much of her spark, her righteous and justified anger, and they've done it because even in 2024, people expect women to be more passive to be palatable. Enough people have already commented on them removing Aang's choice to run away. Heaven forbid the main character not be an absolute paragon. Did y'all notice that they even made Hahn likable? Hahn?! What reason do you have for making Hahn likable Netflix?! His role in the narrative is to be an example of toxic masculinity that is clearly the bad choice compared to Sokka who has learned and grown out of his own.

Don't even get me started with what they're doing with the fire nation family, I'm not ready to tackle that. In general, I have no problem with Azula getting a little more backstory and humanizing, but why season 1? Throwing in all these extra scenes just sacrifices screen-time where they could've actually fleshed out the real season one plots instead of rushing through things at breakneck pace. (ex: Aang escaping Zuko's ship in about 2 minutes flat)

At the end of the day, the scenes I most enjoyed were those that held true to the original like the Blue Spirit sequences. They could've easily done more of this, held onto the important plot points and even more important character complexity, while maturing it for an adult audience. I'm not disagreeing with every change they made. Go ahead and take out the silly Nickelodeon gags, add cussing and more realistic violence to get your mainstream viewers. Go ahead. They could've easily made a darker more mature version of the show and still held onto all the old fans in my opinion. But claiming that you're making a 'more mature' version and then removing the complexity and subtlety because they didn't think viewers could handle it...

What makes me most sad is that there are a lot of people who will experience ATLA for the first time through this show. There are a lot of adults who are not willing to watch original ATLA because they refuse to acknowledge an animated series can be anything other than a kid's show. Those people will watch this and think it's the real deal, and that just makes me sad.

If you've read this far, a very sincere thank you for listening to my rant. If you're an OG fan who enjoyed it, I have no problem with you. It was a fun watch, I was just hoping for more. If you are a new viewer who has never seen ATLA before, I sincerely want to hear your opinions. Is it a great show to someone who isn't holding it against the context of the original? And do you plan to watch the original now?

[violettathepiratequeen]

March 26th, 2025

Hello there, gentle viewers! Welcome back to Buffy Slays, where I’ll be going through all 144 episodes of BtVS over the course of a year, highlighting as many of the GOOD moments, lines, character choices, worldbuilding moments, etc. etc. as I think people will have the patience to read. 

So, here we go! 

Season 1, Episode 10, “Nightmares.”

Buffy and her friends discover that their worst nightmares have become reality. (Pulled from Prime Video.)

If you're reading along and haven't finished the show, consider this your Spoiler Warning for discussion of future episodes and major plot points in any and all of these posts.

Episode Number: #10 Episode Ranking: #76 out of 144. Writer: David Greenwalt & Joss Whedon

Top 5 Quotes:

“I've failed... in my duty to protect you. I should have been more cautious. Taken more time to train you. But you were so gifted. And the evil was so great. I'm sorry.” —Giles

“There are a lot scarier things than you. And I'm one of them.” —Buffy

“I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway?” —Willow

“Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this. Nightmares, our nightmares are coming true.” —Giles

“What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead?” —The Master

How “Nightmares” Slays:

I latched onto this episode as one of my faves from Season One for a couple of reasons, but right off the bat was the story of Buffy’s parents. Is it an uncommon story? Not in the least. Is it particularly tragic? Given that both of her parents are still alive and interested in seeing her, in this episode at least, I think that’s a resounding no. But I remember watching this for the first time, and the exact details Buffy describes about her parents and their divorce describes my parents and their divorce so accurately that I just wanted to cry and hug my darling Buffy through the screen. Her dad comes up on weekends sometimes, and it’s always something she looks forward to with the utmost excitement, even though there’s that niggling doubt that he’ll bail on her. Her parents were separated before they were divorced, and that’s the word she uses, “separated.” They were really good about it around her, and make it clear that they don’t blame her, and they don’t speak badly of the other. A future episode will even show her parents speaking civilly to each other, like they’re co-workers or something. Joyce reminds Buffy that her father adores her. Buffy always suspects there was someone else her father was interested in, even though that’s never confirmed. And the reason for them splitting up was just that they’d grown too far apart, though later episodes will prove that her father just isn’t responsible enough to make the effort to stay in her life, even if he tries in the beginning. It’s something Buffy bears so strongly, something that will affect her more than she will ever complain about, and something that connects me to her in a way I wasn’t expecting.

Billy, the boy in a coma causing the nightmares, is not a creepy and malicious kid. I really love this actor they chose for Billy: someone who is quiet, with sad eyes, and a level of maturity that the Annointed One certainly doesn't have, lol. He’s wandering aimlessly around the school because he doesn’t know what else to do, but he knows he’s responsible for the bad stuff, and apologizes softly when they happen. He has a fear of the man who abused him, and has accepted his fate of an endless cycle of the man chasing him, while he himself runs away and hides. But when Buffy asks him to talk to her, he does. He clings to her as someone trustworthy right away, and follows her to look for clues, and is able to face his demons with her encouragement.

The nightmares themselves! These are great for a variety of reasons. Like the Puppet Show episode, it’s something that’s sort of happening in the background for a bit, with Xander grinning with glee at a biker kid who gets embarrassed by his mother, and Willow grinning with glee at Cordy getting dragged off to chess club. They don’t connect it to Wendell’s spiders or the girl who was beaten until later; for a while it’s just cool to see people struggling with what would be their worst nightmare. They’re great too because they do show what everyone fears. Even at the beginning when it’s all shallow stuff, like Cordelia having a bad hair day or Xander ending up naked, or Buffy having a history test she didn’t study for, or Giles being unable to read. It reveals things about them, reveals what matters to them, reveals what they would give anything to make sure never, ever happens. And even though the nightmares disappear by the end, those secrets are out. We now know what these people worry about every day.

And to that end, Buffy’s history test nightmare is a great scene. She’s busy investigating Wendell’s spiders when Cordelia drags her off for a history test that Buffy didn’t know about, and hadn’t studied for, and wouldn’t have even found if Cordelia hadn’t pointed her to it. The teacher glares at her and looks like someone out of a nightmare all on his own; he probably wasn’t a real teacher, but just a figment of this scene. The time skips just by Buffy blinking, and everyone else seems to be doing just fine… Cordelia included, to give some element of realism to this whole thing. We know Buffy has struggled with history in episodes past, and this scene shows that studying and knowing the material actually does matter to her, and she’s terrified of falling behind.

Wendell, the kid with the spiders, and Laura, the girl who was beaten and ends up in the hospital. These characters are great because Buffy and friends know them. Wendell at least is someone more on the loser side, we’re guessing, and he jokes with Xander and Willow in the beginning scene, and then tells the Scoobies all about his spider habitat that he was so proud of before they died. When Laura ends up in the hospital, Buffy and Giles go to visit, bringing her flowers, and Giles asks if Buffy knows her. Buffy says she’s said hello to the girl, who seems nice enough. Showcasing that even if Buffy and Willow and Xander stay in their own tight-knit little friend circle, they do interact with and are friendly to other students. They’re never above them, never too busy or important to socialize, and this sets up Buffy’s Class Protector Award at the end of high school so amazingly.

Hank breaking Buffy’s heart. Which makes me sick to my stomach every time I watch it, but is another thing that shows Buffy’s fear so well. We already knew she’s worried about her dad flaking, and the stereotype of dads in the divorce is to totally bail on the kids left with the mother. The things Hank says to Buffy are so out there, so over-the-top, and spoken so deadpan and so cruelly and matter-of-factly that even if they were all true, he would have said it to her in a much kinder way in reality. But for this nightmare, every single line he says, from thinking it’s immature for her to cry, to wishing she’d turned out differently, can only be a line Buffy has thought up in her head. Probably verbatim. Probably while lying awake at night, wondering why her parents had to split up. She probably has imagined this conversation a thousand times, and now it’s real, and for that reason it’s very well done. And even if Hank really does bail on her later in the show, in this episode at least he does show up on time after the nightmares, happy to see his daughter.

Willow has to sing! Poor girl, being stuck on that stage for the second episode in the row, only this time she hasn’t even rehearsed. In the Restless episode she will also dream about being in a play that she hasn’t rehearsed for, so this truly is a recurring nightmare for her. But oh my goodness it’s so great. That she’s introduced as one of the greatest sopranos, and has a touchy opera singer there with her.

Buffy’s nightmare of being buried alive is established. Anyone would be terrified of that, and the scene later on when she has to dig her way out of her grave for real is excruciating. This is something that Buffy has actively dreamed about. Making it more understandable why, when this happens for real in S6, she distances herself from the friends who put her through that, and why the following months are so destructive for her. And why she clings to the one person who also knows what it was like to crawl his way out of a grave. Her nightmare of becoming a vampire is also established, and while it’s not something that’s ever brought up again, I think it’s an important part of her character that shouldn’t be overlooked. Giles even points out that she never told him she has nightmares of being a vampire. She tries to hide her face from her friends, and this seems almost worse than being buried alive for her. She even knows Angel is a vampire at this point and has feelings for him, so it’s not that she fears vampires or thinks there’s no hope for them to be good. It’s that she is horrified by the thought of becoming one herself. I don’t read vampire!Buffy fanfics and I refuse to write them outside of this episode, too, because of this scene. ALL THAT BEING SAID, when Giles asks if Buffy can hold herself together long enough to fight the problem at hand, Buffy says yes. Her friends don’t doubt for a second that Buffy can stay human enough for them, and she does. She has a line about being hungry, and while her friends think it’s a joke, I don’t think it is. I do think she is truly a vampire in that moment, and has the urge to rip her friend’s throats out and drink their blood. But she reigns it in, fresh out of the grave, and immediately becomes the Slayer again. 

Giles’ nightmares is Buffy dying, something that will come to pass twice for him, once in this very season. And oh, oh, how I love this scene and this speech. That he immediately clocks her gravestone as his nightmare, and doesn’t shy away from pointing it out. His speech is a little on the nose, but ALSO something I’m sure he thought verbatim in his head when Buffy dies in S5. He blames himself for her death, he thinks she is gifted, he hates that she had to face such great evil, and this is the most emotional he’s been in the show so far. Another reason why I love their relationship, and why this episode is so dear to me.

Willow’s line about spiders,“What do they need all those hairy legs for anyway?” can pretty much be sung along the same beat as Anya’s bunny line, “What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?” from the musical episode, and that just cracks me up.

Everybody lives in this episode! No one dies or gets cursed forever or disappears, the nightmares evaporate, Billy wakes up from his coma, and his abuser gets arrested. Certainly not all Buffy episodes have this good of an ending, so it needs to be celebrated when they do.

Big Sister Buffy:

Something understated about Buffy’s character, I think, is how great she is with kids. I think her empathy, compassion, and forgiveness is shown quite a lot (and I’ll be pointing it out in future episodes), but the moments where she gets to be a big sister to someone younger than her, even after she actually gets a little sister, always shine.

In this episode, she’s kind to Laura in the hospital, who probably is her age, but even so, vulnerable and traumatized and frightened. Buffy asks her to describe the person who attacked her, but when Laura seems to be struggling, Buffy immediately tells her it’s okay, but that she and Giles will believe her if she feels like talking, even if Laura’s story may seem weird.

Buffy is sweet and patient and kind to Billy in this episode. She figures out he’s the source of the nightmares, but doesn’t blame him at all. She knows he was abused and speaks gently and kindly to him, asking if he’ll help her, reassuring him that he’ll be okay. She pauses in her investigation when he gets distracted by some kids playing baseball, and stands there and talks through his assault with him. When Billy says it was his fault for losing the game, Buffy reminds him he’s playing with a team, so one bad catch doesn’t make it his fault. 

She stands in front of him to protect him from the Ugly Man, and adopts Billy’s nickname for said creature. She fights the monster and knocks him down, and then brings Billy over to him, stating that he has to do the rest. She’s right, and Billy has to confront his demon, but Buffy holds onto his hand as he does so. 

Buffy could have been a snarky hero, and sometimes she is. She could have been impatient, she could have been more tough-love, more rough, more condescending, even, to kids that she has to deal with. 

But she is always, always gentle and patient and understanding with them, and it just makes her feel like an even safer character to love and be around.

Xander Harris is a Bro:

This is by no means a Xander-centric episode, but I think it’s one of his strongest to date. No love triangle stuff between him and Willow and Buffy is brought up, which is always a plus. When asked why spiders don’t bother him, he says it’s because he’s seen all these supernatural monsters now, so they’ve kind of been there and done that. When Buffy thinks he’s being blase, he says that if there is a problem, Buffy will slay it, and they’ll party. He has such confidence in her ability to save the day, even though he’s seen her struggle and even fail, and it’s great to see.

Xander brings up his sixth birthday party to Willow, who immediately starts laughing as she remembers how scared he was of the clown. The fact that she was at that party, and all he has to do is mention it for her to pinpoint exactly which one that was, just makes me love their close bond even more.

Willow asks Xander if she can ask a personal question at the end of this episode, and he doesn’t hesitate to give her permission. It could have been anything, and he was ready to give her the answers. She asks if he was still attracted to Buffy as a vampire (okay, so a little love triangle stuff) and he does admit to it, also admitting that he was wrong to be. They just have no secrets from each other, no matter how dark or disturbing, and, as I’ve said before, I love where there are moments when it’s just them, like it’s always been.

Besides Billy, Xander is the only one in this episode to actually confront his nightmares, and he does so by turning around and punching the clown in the face, before yelling taunts at him. Given that this clown was holding a knife, that was no small thing to do, and there’s no apparent reason for Xander realizing all he has to do to face his demons is to turn around and literally fight it, but it highlights his bravery, which is one of the strongest aspects of his character.

Xander is there to catch Billy’s coach fleeing the hospital room at the end, which his friends will later on call heroic. And when Buffy leads Billy to the monster that’s been chasing them, Xander understands that this is Billy fighting his demons, too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that’s a wrap on Episode 10! Thank you so much for reading this far!

Previous: “The Puppet Show.”

Next up: “Out of Mind, Out of Sight.” 

(Credit for GIFs in this post: @detectivedawnsummers)

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

A Little Farewell

With about a week left to go we had our final OT4 weverse live today and it's safe to say, we were not prepared. But I'm very grateful that they did a live all together giving us a last dose of chaos, cuteness and giggles before we'll be left to fend for ourselves for 6 months before Jin returns to us in June 2024.

The live truly was a beautiful gift that kept on giving starting with Tae's new short haircut and JK hiding his now shaved head from us, Namjoon even claiming that JKs hair is shorter than his own (JK supposedly felt inspired to shave his head a little early after he met Usher, who has pretty short hair himself, and went for it), and Jimin practically getting offended by a comment saying they wanted to see him with a buzzcut. To be honest Tae's cute little haircut looks a little like he did it himself in the dead of the night but it also makes him look like we traveled back in time to 2013 or earlier. Adorable. After so long it was really nice to see them together again, and to generally have more than one Tannie in a live together.

Since the first leaks about their military service appeared a few days ago we've seen vminies talk among themselves, and not to mention the near constant fighting that's been going on between the two xkook camps, but seeing vmin being so cute together in this live, it felt reassuring. Whatever questions or worries we might've had, they were washed away. In a way it makes sense that Tae and Jimin didn't go together, even if we all would've loved to see them go together and make use of the buddy system, but that isn't the choice they made for themselves and that's okay. It's easy to see what vmin are doing more than just fine and that's all that matters. Admin 2 really hoped we'd get a vmin handshake or hand holding, and we got two! I mean, look at all this cuteness:

And then also Tae going home in five minutes flat and doing a small solo live which was basically just him being adorable and talking to Jimin, who was immediately in the comments, before leaving again. Love when we get to third wheel them, wow, I truly will miss that a lot.

At one point in the live JK mentioned that he'd wanted to go to the special forces as well, implying that for some reason he couldn't, which makes me wonder why. Was it because of his tattoos? Either way, it's nice that he'll instead get to go with Jimin and supposedly they'll be in the training camp where Seokjin is one of the trainers so that's cute.

Speaking of Seokjin, after so long it was adorable how often Namjoon brought up Seokjin in this live. Just Jin hyung this and Jin hyung that, very cute. And they also mentioned Hobi a bunch, how he's gotten cooler and more manly, which comes as a great reminder to basically all of us that the cute boys we've known until now, well, they'll probably fade away and get replaced by more mature versions of our beloved members in the next months and they'll return to us as a different set of Tannies. And that's okay. They're grown up men so it makes sense that eventually some of that aegyo cuteness will fade away and personally I'm very curious to see how things will turn out and what they'll be like in 2025.

And I'm very curious to see if idiots will respect Namjoon's and Tae's pleas for people not to show up for their entrance ceremonies. Especially since Namjoon asked for it in three languages to make sure everyone understood it. Unfortunately I have my doubts, since we know the maknae line have some of the most unhinged solos but here's hoping.

Now, what does this mean for us now? Well, it'll be quite a while until we'll see the members slowly returning one after the other so we'd like to take this time for a 'official' hiatus as well. Admin 2 is considering a temporary "rebrand" into a BL blog since they've gotten into Thai BLs in the last year, so that's something that might happen. Would any of you be interested in something like that?

But we'll still be ARMY, still love vmin and namjin, and once the guys will return, so will we, so don't worry, we're not leaving BTS any time soon.

Lastly, here's a blurry screenshot of a coconut headed JK running across the screen screaming THIS WAS BTS. A beautifully chaotic ending to this solo era. Let's see what the next months will bring us and what 2025 will be like when chapter 2 will come to a close and a new chapter of BTS and ARMY will open, eventually.

Thank you so much for reading!

[therantsofawriterrr]

The Umbrella Academy Final Season: My Version

Part Three: Old Faces With New Personalities

Overview: While Lila and Diego keep hiding secrets from each other, Luther encounters familiar faces, that don't seem familiar in some aspects.

TW: Mature language, implied sex (idk maybe), hurt with comfort, the cafe scene except its different, tell me if i missed anything! Pairings in the chapter: Diego×Lila (Fluff alert hehe) A/N: So, I saw someone say that Five attended the Keeper meetings because he was still looking for a way to get his fam and himself back to their original timeline, which ig, makes sense, but i have established smn so yk im going with that but dw, we'll get to see that. Also, again, the Diego×Lila dynamic that we deserved to see. And a little surprise too (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠).

Masterlist

After the Keepers meeting ended, Lila and Five sat in a cafe in the next block, discussing the contents that were discussed.

"Look, if these artifacts are from different timelines and now they're showing up-" Lila started saying.

"It's possible the old man's reset didn't take," Five finished.

"What does that even mean?" Lila asked, hoping Five would have an answer.

"I have no idea," Five said in a tired voice. He looked like he hadn't slept in a while, which worried Lila a bit.

Over the last six years, she had grown closer to everyone in the Hargreeves family. She'd grown to be a caring aunt to Grace, a fun-loving sister-in-law to Klaus, a caring, supportive one to Luther, and a snarky, sarcastic one to Five.

"Look, whatever this is, don't say anything to the family just yet," Five requested. "Not even Diego."

"Absolutely not," Lila agreed. "He thinks I'm at book club."

He gave her a dirty look, not at all happy with the sentence.

"It's just easier that way," Lila said, her eyes shining with guilt.

"Easier? It's Diego we're talking about, Lila. You know how he can get."

"Yeah. But... you know how he'll get if he gets in on this. He'll jump to conclusions, and make rash decisions and everything. Don't you remember him during the 60s?"

They both shuddered involuntarily as Five nodded. "Alright. well, it's a good thing I never got married. Too much deception involved."

He took a bite of his scone, which got some cream on his mustache. Lila smiled with a sigh as she took a tissue in her hand and wiped it away. "Didn't dear old Reggie teach any of you Hargreeves men how to eat?"

He scoffed with irritation as he said, "Don't coddle me, I'm not a child."

"Yeah, well you surely eat like one," she retorted, balling up the tissue and leaning back.

Suddenly a woman slammed her hands down on the table, making them both jump as she glared at Five.

"Next time I call," she gritted through her teeth. "I expect you to pick up your phone, accept it and put the damn thing to your ear."

Five's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at her with confusion. "How'd you find out my location?"

The woman just stood up and stared at him, pulling up a chair to sit. Lila noticed she was pretty in an unconventional way, with a sugarplum balayage on her dark brown hair and stony grey eyes. Wearing brown bellbottom trousers with a tucked-in maroon shirt, sleeves reaching till just below her elbows, a beautiful vintage watch on her left wrist, and maroon kitten heels on her feet, she looked like a boss lady.

"Did you put a fucking tracker in my outfit?" Five asked indignantly.

"Do you think I had a choice?" she deadpanned, drumming her fingers on the table. "You don't accept my calls, half the time you don't even wanna talk to me."

"Because you're annoying, Clementine," Five declared heatedly.

She only sighed with a roll of her eyes, ignoring the comment. "Anyway, look, we need to talk."

Five took an angry bite of his scone, prompting Lila to throw a tissue at him with a disgusted look.

"Alone, Five," Clementine asserted.

"If it's about the Keepers, then I could help, y'know," Lila interjected. "I've been investigating them as well."

Clementine's eyes lit up as she turned towards her, crossing her arms on the table. "Really? What have you found out about them yet?"

"Oh, well, that it started in New Mexico and everyone's just flocking towards it like lemmings. Oh, also, the Cleanse," she said, mimicking Jean when she said the last word.

"The Cleanse? What's that?" she asked.

"No idea. But, Gene, one of the leaders, said that it's either the end, or a great restoration."

Clementine whipped out a small notepad, turning to a page and starting to scribble in as Five took in a breath, almost looking scandalized.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Don't tell me you're going to be reporting that to the deputy director."

"I have to give him something, Five," she said, focused on writing in her notebook before lifting her head to look at him. "Why? Are you ashamed that she, a civilian might know more than you, a goddamn CIA agent?"

"Oh, burn!" Lila exclaimed, laughing loudly. "Oh, I like you so much."

"Thanks! You're fun, too!" She exclaimed with bright cheerful grey eyes.

Lila stared at them with a kind of a knowing smile as they continued bickering. Her phone vibrated in her bag, and she took it out to see a text from Diego.

Hey, did book club end? You need a ride? I miss you🥺

She stared at the text with a tender smile before it faded, her eyes turning thoughtful and guilty. She got up, taking her small handbag with her, slinging it onto her shoulder.

"Well, you kids stay safe now," she said playfully, even though they didn't really hear her during their conversation.

Upon reaching home, she found Diego snoring on the couch in front of the TV, making her smile as she went to push some of his hair away from his forehead. She started going to her room to change when a hand caught onto her wrist, pulling her back.

She fell onto Diego's lap with a surprised gasp, her arm automatically going around his shoulders as her legs dangled off his thighs. He smiled sleepily as he gave her a peck on the nose, making her giggle as she gave him one on his lips.

"You should've gone to bed," she said softly, nuzzling her nose against his.

He hummed, his arms hugging her waist tighter, blinking the sleep away. "I can't sleep without you beside me, Lila. You know that."

She chuckled with a shake of her head, her other arm going to rest on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting."

"It's alright. I know you lose track of time during book club. How was it, by the way?"

She nodded with a shrug and said, "Not very informative. But it was fun."

Diego did feel a sting in his heart at the fact that she still wouldn't come clean to him about what she was doing, but he didn't budge on his trust. She'd earned it and so he was giving her the chance to tell him about her investigation when she wanted to.

He gave out a sudden yawn, making her chuckle again. "You can barely keep your eyes open, love. Go to bed. I'll join you after a shower."

"Hmm, can I join?" he asked with a playful smile, making her slap on his shoulder.

"Yes," she said and sauntered over to their room, making him jump up after her as he took off his shirt excitedly.

Simultaneously, a few blocks away, Luther stood in front of his apartment door with a blank look on his face, wanting to bang his head on it. In the time he knew Sloane, he'd memorized the places she went to. Even if Reginald reset the timeline, that wouldn't change.

He worked part-time in a cafe that Sloane usually visited to note down places that she'd visit if she got a chance to get out. All neat and noted. He still had it and usually carried it around with him.

Every evening after work, he worked in that place. Every fucking evening, he hoped that she'd come in, get in line and ask for a latte. But, it always just ended up killing all the hope inside him.

Suddenly, the door next to his apartment burst open, making him jump with a surprised grunt, as he looked to the side.

A guy exited, immediately looking at him with concern. "Oh, hey, sorry man, are you alright?"

"Yeah," Luther said, batting a dismissive hand. "It's alright, I'm alright."

The guy heaved a relieved sigh before giving him a smile. "I'm Christopher by the way, though, I mostly go by Chris."

Luther's eyebrows furrowed a little bit as the cube from Sparrow Academy, who had the same name, flashed in his mind, but he just ignored it and smiled back, not quite reaching his eyes.

"Who're you yapping with out there?" A very familiar voice said, making Luther perk up a bit.

And out the door, walked none other than Alphonso, Sparrow Number Four. Luther's eyes widened as he gave out a tiny gasp.

"Oh, hey. New neighbour?" Alphonso asked, looking at him.

"I... Uh. No. Not really," he said, composing himself. "I just don't get out much out of work, I guess."

"Well, ya should, man! Tell you what, we're going to a bar this weekend with some friends. Not too crowded either, if you don't like that kinda thing. You wanna come with?"

"Yeah," he said with a bright, hopeful smile. "I'd love to."

"Alright. Lookin' forward to it, man," Alphonso said with a friendly grin, before they both walked away, talking amongst themselves.

When Luther entered his apartment that night, he didn't sink to the floor with a blank despair. He sunk down with hopeful tears, and the sobs that wracked his body were happy ones.

And when he went to sleep that night, he knew it wasn't because he'd see dreams of living in a house with Sloane. He'd see dreams of meeting her in a bar. Of talking to her. Of getting to know what she's like in this timeline.

For the first time in six years, Luther Hargreeves went to bed with joy in his heart.

Another A/N: Ok, ik i'm speedrunning this shit, but I just need to write it all down cause the brellie in me is not letting me write anything else. So, here u go, two parts in one day lol. I'm prolly gonna start writing the next part too, so stay tuned!!

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated. Tysm for reading!!

[aihoshiino]

chapter 130 thoughts

MEMCHO TIME!!!!!!! admittedly it feels a bit jarring to suddenly swerve to focusing on Mem following last chapter but I will never complain about Mem Time

This chapter focused on an aspect of Mem that I've talked about before and really appreciate in that it makes a point of saying that Mem is a lot smarter and much more capable than her front-facing persona tends to make her come off. It's not that the everyday Mem or the more mature, capable adult Mem are 'fake' in any way, but Memcho deliberately chooses to emphasize this bold energy of hers as a way of dealing with challenges and ingratiating herself to the people around her. As coping mechanisms for tough times go, it's honestly the most healthy anyone in this series gets lol

It's also possible I'm just saying this as The Ai Guy but it honestly reminds me a little bit of Ai's dichotomy - it's not that either side of her is 'fake' in comparison to the other, but she chooses to put on a more socially acceptable face by playing up certain aspects of her personality.

It's also interesting to see Kana and Akane talk so frankly about the mundanely grimy and nasty parts of being an actor. OnK tends to focus on more large-scale or I guess 'grander' aspects of the entertainment industry's darkness so it was a bit refreshing to see it at least acknowledge something more down to earth like "making movies is expensive and stressful so everyone's on edge"

Extremely interesting to note: We find out that Abiko and Kichijoji also contributed to the movie script even if only in small parts. Not only is the movie drifting further away from reality just by the basic needs of dramatization, it has now also been touched by at least two people who didn't know Ai and who never even met her. Whether the story acknowledges this or not, it's becoming increasingly clear that we need to take any information from this movie with a whole lamp's worth of salt.

After all, while this is a story about Ai... it's not really Ai's story, is it? She's not the one telling it and when you really get down to it, this is just another example of Ai being exploited and commodified for other peoples' desires, with the added tragedy that this is her own son finally taking part in that exploitation in a misguided attempt to grant her wish.

But... we'll get to that.

The note Mem and Aqua's convo ends on is kind of strange. Aqua acknowledging he's using Mem is surprisingly straightforward of him but Mem saying in return that she's glad for it seems kind of odd.

And finally... we get a proper peek at one of the DVDs at last, though only in part.

I'm increasingly curious as to why Ai chose this method for telling the twins whatever she had to say to them on the DVD and the circumstances around them both are pretty weird. Her insistence on Gotanda looking after them and her request to deliver them to the twins at age 15, as if she might not be around to do it herself... I can really see why people have been wondering if Ai didn't suspect her life was in danger around this time, though it's not a theory I'm fully keyed into.

It's also interesting that she split them in two. I'm assuming this means Aqua has some information that Ruby does not but again the question: why this method of delivery? The DVDs as a whole are such a weird little mystery box and I can't help but wonder if even Akasaka isn't sure what he's doing with them.

Cute detail, though: The 'Happy Birthday' streamer up on the wall is from the anime's version of the Ai interview flashforward, which reframes it as a message recorded for the twins by Ai on their first birthday. It's cute to see the anime's creative choices reincorporated back into the manga like that.

Ai on the DVD says she has a request to the 'now all grown up' Aqua and Ruby - she specifically asks it of both of them, which means that Aqua keeping his to himself is particularly shitty of him, but in a way that's in-character and consistent with the self destructive behaviour we've been seeing for a while.

All in all, this was an interesting chapter and I don't want to say it was unnecessary but it felt... weirdly placed, I guess? Similar to my feelings on chapter 127, it feels even more like a story beat we didn't need right now. Obviously, we're still making our way through the movie arc so this structure might make more sense on the other side, but I've got a bad feeling that we're spinning our wheels a bit so Aka can try and keep pace with the season 2 production.

This was volume 13's last chapter so we're on break next week! Who do you think we'll get on the cover this time? Personally, I'm manifesting Melt......................................

[the-meat-machine]

Im confused about Cherub anatomy

I thought it was kind of odd that they have gender? Like you could assume that they just choose one because they're trying to project an identity on the same body which sorta gives an indication that the body lacks male or female traits for this reasoning to make sense. BUT, if we look at Caliborns/Calliopes mother and father theres some clear sexual dimorphism. It makes me wonder how their bodies even get that way? I ended up theorizing that they may metamorphosize to achieve these differences. My theory 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘺 hold some weight, ex: in Caliborns Masterpiece we can hear that his voice is deep and snarly. Now, we haven't heard Calliopes voice to make a fair comparison after all, she could also possibly sound just like that. So maybe this isn't the strongest example but when Cherubs sleep and when the other personality takes over, the body does change. From the eyecolor, tongue color, cheek color, and blood color, as for body figure it's unclear if that changes when waking up. If we want to count how Caliborn and Calliope are drawn in Act 7, in the opening you can see Calliope has a curved figure and breasts while Caliborn has a wider shoulders, and a flat chest . But then again, Calliope is drawn differently multiple times throughout the act 7 flash so maybe not much weight either. The strongest basis i have for this is probably just how their mom and dad look. In conclusion: either their body fully transitions into the other gender when one of the personalities wakes up then swaps into the other gender when sleeping for the other personality to take over the body with their traits included OR the body has both male and female traits at all times and are stuck there until the one the personalities wins the body and the loser personality bodily traits disappear from the body so the winners traits take over. But this could also not hold weight since Caliborn apparently didn't know what boobs were when talking with Jane. But yet again Calliopes drawings featured boobs so idk. Feel free too tell me everything i got wrong not even i know what the fuck im talking about I've been listening to karkalicious for like 6 hours today (newer version)

So I came into this ask fully intending for my answer to be "cherub sexes make no sense, just throw them out". But then as I was writing out why they make no sense, I accidentally came up with an explanation that makes them (sort of) make sense. Whoops. I'm going to post that as its own separate thing, 'cause it got long, and I probably should edit it to include a clearer explanation of isogamy, ha ha… ha.

But anyway, that aside, some of the details you brought up still don't really make sense - especially alt!Calliope's appearance in Act 7. Because the thing is, alt!Calliope shouldn't look like an adult cherub at all. Even if she predominated "correctly", she still died young, before she could fully mature. If she was truly fully grown, she would have wings, but she doesn't. And during the conversation where she and alpha Calliope meet, the two of them appear to have the same height and build.

The simplest explanation for her Act 7 appearance is that it's just art weirdness. But if we wanted to come up with an in-universe explanation, two possible ones come to mind:

She's a ghost. Ghosts are shown to be able to change their appearances, either consciously or subconsciously. So she's given herself a more adult body that matches her adult mind.

She lived long enough after predomination for her body to partially, but not completely, mature. Thus, she has a somewhat adult-like body, but doesn't have wings and doesn't look as large as the adult female cherub we see depicted elsewhere (because even the females are pretty darn ripped). In this case, it's during the conversation with alpha Calliope that she's altering her appearance, perhaps choosing to make herself look younger to put Calliope and/or Jade at ease.

As for Caliborn seeming to have broader shoulders in Act 7 than Calliope does, we could say that maybe it's just that Caliborn has more muscle mass there by virtue of being more physically active.

I do like to imagine (when I accept that cherubs have biological "sexes" at all) that young cherubs have undifferentiated bodies, and they only develop into "male" or "female" forms after predomination. This fits in with what Aranea says about how the only way to tell the two young cherubs apart is by the color of their cheeks (though as you note, there are a few other differences too).

But that's still kind of complicated, because what makes one of the personalities definitively "male" and the other definitively "female" when their bodies are identical? My best theory is that there's some sort of hormone or something in their blood that differs between juvenile males and females, since the blood seems to be the main thing that physically changes when they swap bodies.

As for Caliborn not understanding what boobs are while Calliope does... that's probably just because Calliope actually pays attention to humans, whereas Caliborn is willfully ignorant about them.

(p.s. I didn't notice until this ask that alt!Calliope appears to have boobs in Act 7. I always assumed cherubs didn't have them, since during Aranea's explanation, the art is ambiguous enough that you could interpret the female as being flat-chested. But no: act 7 says cherub boobs. Argh. Why. I am rejecting this from my personal headcanon and assuming that it was just some weird folds in alt!Calliope's robes that made her look like she had boobs.)